Oneshots - anyone x reader 2

Power - Deadpool

"Hey Wade you got any chips?" You ask. You were lying on the couch, slowly craving some cheddar cheese and sour cream chips. Wade snorts, trying not to laugh. "I swear to god if you say that vine-"

"nO BUT I GOT CHEEZ WHIZ!" He yells. You groan in defeat, laying back down. "Yeah no, but seriously I got chips."

He throws you a party sized bag of Cheddar and Sour Cream Lays in your direction; knowing you'd immediately catch it. "I love you Wade!"

"Love you too babe!" He yells back. He was not wearing that skin tight red suit (even though you loved it when he did), but instead a comfortable shirt and boxers. It was his day off of killing people, it was your day off of people killing your mind as you tried to keep your area of the store nice and clean.

Retail fucking sucks, man. It sucks balls.

You here the microwave go off, and you smile.

"Chimichangas[./!]" You both day in unison. You sigh, smiling as he sits next to you with a plate of chimichangas.

"This is the first time I've actually seen you eat chimichangas even though you talk about them all the time." You said, opening the bag of chips and eating one.

"It's fun to say!" He says through a mouth full of food. "Chimichanga!"

"Alright, you monkey, what do you want to watch?" You say.

"You know what I'm gonna say."

"And I'm not gonna allow it." You say, clicking on Heathers.

"But it's My Little Pony!" He said in anguish.

"If you want to watch MLP, you can do it on the portable DVD player you have on your dresser."

"That thing is like, a thousand years old, it doesn't even work anymore!"

"Because you threw against the wall yesterday in order to get rid of it!" You said.

"But-"

"No buts! We are not watching MLP!"

The movie starts with the opening song, the familiar croquet mallets appearing on screen. You watched intently, smiling every time JD came on. Let's face it, Christian Slater was a hunk and if you were in the Heathers movie you would die in awe. About fifteen minutes into the movie, you notice Wade wasn't even watching you. You turn to see him staring at you, his chin resting in his hand, his eyes all dreamy.

"What?" You ask. He sighs.

"You're so fucking amazing." He said. "What did I do to land with a god like you?"

"You almost killed me thinking that I was on Francis' side even tho I was a prisoner of Francis." You said. "And then you proceeded to flirt with me after you saved and make me fall in love with you."

"I know that part." He said. "But god, you're so fucking beautiful."

"Stop, we gotta watch the movie!" You said, gesturing to the movie.

"It can wait; besides, it's on Netflix." He said. He pulls you onto his lap, staring up at you. You smile.

"You have the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen." You said. "Like chocolate and caramel."

"Your eyes are like gems." He said. "So colorful, so sparkly."

"Oh please, they're just eyes." You said, rolling yours.

"I'm not kidding!" He said. "You are the most perfect person in the world."

"Elaborate, last time I checked no one was perfect."

"The way your skin glows when your sleeping, the bear hugs you give me when you finally wake up, and your hugs are so warm.." He says, intertwining his hands with yours. "The way that your hands fit perfectly with mine, the perfect angle you hold a gun to shoot a guy's brains out, I could go on."

You chuckle. "Thanks, Wade. It really means a lot.."

He smiles, kissing your neck as you hug him. "I love you, babe. I really mean it."

"I love you too, puddin'." You said in your best Harley Quinn voice. He bursts out laughing.

"yOu SoUnD lIkE a DyInG cHiPmUnK!!!" He bellows as he laughs.

"Gosh, puddin', that wasn't a very nice thing to say!" Ok stop now your Harley Quinn impersonation just sounds like a chipmunk had a baby with Betty Boop.

"Fuck off author, their impersonation is amazing and we both know it!" Ok Wade back off I'm just here to tell the story Jesus fucking Christ.