Forever and Ever // Lams

Commitment

JOHN'S POV

It had been a month since we started therapy, Alex and I both went twice a week. After a few sessions,  Alex began to sleep better and I was so proud of him.

School started again right after we had begun therapy, and with each day we go to school, people are getting more and more excited, because it was nearly Summer break. In less than a month we'd be out of here, and then Laff and Herc would be getting married soon after.

Alex and I were walking down the hallway with our friends, talking and laughing happily when the thought occurred to me.

Alex and I should get married. 

At first I dismissed the thought, not wanting to steal the spotlight from Laff and Herc. But soon it was the last day of school and I had been thinking about proposing every day. I decided to tell Peggy while we were waiting for Alex to finish getting his things out of his locker. We both sat outside of the school on a bench, talking quietly in case he came out without us noticing.

"So, Pegs, I've been thinking about Alex and I, and--"

"You're not breaking up with him are you?!" She looked shocked.

"No! No! The opposite. I want to propose to him."

Her shocked expression didn't change. "Oh my God, that's amazing John! When?"

I shrugged. "I don't want to steal the attention away from Herc and Laff, so definitely after their wedding." 

Peggy smiled. "That's awesome. Have you picked out a ring yet?"

"No, I'm not even sure I'm going to propose yet. I want to, but..."

"Why not? You two are perfect together, you literally live together already, you two act like you are practically already married!" She exclaimed. 

Hm, yes we do..... I told him to pick up his pants this morning. (My friend added that but it's so funny to me that I'm keeping it lmao)

"Yeah I know, but what if somehow proposing ruins everything?"

"Why would it?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Well, what if I scare him off or something? We've only been together for the school year."

"You two are soul mates, everyone around you can see it, and I'm pretty sure Alex can tell too. The only person who's doubting it is you." Peggy shrugged, then began to scroll through Instagram to give me time to think about it.

We were soul mates. It's true, I've never loved anyone more than I've loved Alex.

"I think I'm gonna do it." I said finally.

Peggy cheered and clapped. "Yay!"

ALEXANDER'S POV

I walked out of the school slowly, weighed down by the large box in my hands. I peeked over the top of the box and saw John and Peggy sitting on a bench talking, their backs turned toward me. I walked over, about to say I was ready to leave when I heard what John said.

"I want to propose to him." I nearly dropped the box. He was going to propose? We haven't been together for that long! I mean I loved him, but I was not ready for marriage. Not at all.

I listened to the rest of their conversation. I was almost relieved, thinking he had decided against it when I heard John again.

"I think I'm going to do it." I gasped and was surprised they hadn't heard me.

After a minute so I didn't look suspicious, I walked over to them.

"Hey guys, ready to go?" I asked.

"Yup." John took the box out of my arms and carried it to the car for me.

"He is super sweet, he does things like that without you even asking him to. You're perfect together. You should get married." Said a quiet little voice in my head.

"Yeah, but that's commitment. Too big of a commitment, too soon. Every other person you've become too committed too has ended up leaving you or dying. You can't marry him." Said a louder voice in my head.

"Hey Alex, you ok?" John asked me in the car. "You're really quiet today."

I snapped out of my thoughts "Oh! Yeah, yeah, of course! Just thinking about the fact that we should... finish decorating our living room! You know, we've lived together for a month and it's still just a couch, a coffee table, and a TV."

"Oh, yeah you're probably right. We can stop at a store and get some decorations if you want." He suggested, his voice sounding odd, like he wanted to believe me but didn't. "You're sure that's all that's bugging you?" He added.

"Positive." I assured him, then went back to staring out the car window.

AT THERAPY (A FEW DAYS LATER)

"So Alex, have there been any influential recent events in your life?" Asked Dr. Goldsberry, the same way she always did.

"Well, I found out that John is going to propose a few days ago, by accident." I said in a neutral tone.

"Congratulations, Alex!"

"Yeah, well I know I should be happy, but... I don't want to have such a big commitment so soon." I admitted.

"Why's that?" She asked, scribbling something down on her clipboard.

"Everyone I've ever loved has ended up leaving me or dying, and I don't want the same thing to happen between John and I."

"Well, you have two options. Come forward and tell him you aren't ready for such a big commitment, or agree to marrying him and find that he'll stick by you."

"How do you know he's going to stick by me?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"I'm not supposed to share information from my other sessions, but that man loves you more than everyone he's ever loved combined. He would never leave you, Alex."

I sighed. "Thanks, but I still don't know if I can commit to marriage yet. Especially since I'm about to go to college, school is going to have to be my top priority."

"You should always be your top priority, Alexander." She reminded me.

The rest of the session went on in a similar manner, and by the end I was still worried about marriage.

"I have one last question before you leave, Alexander. If he proposed to you right now, what would you say?"

"Yes." I said immediately, and without thinking.

"Exactly." She smiled.

I gave a weak smile back and left, surprised I had said yes. Maybe I was ready?

--------------------------------------

I hope you liked this chapter! We're so close to the end of the book, I'm still debating whether I want to do a sequel or if I should start a new au where everyone has slightly different personalities than the ones I've created for them here. I'll see you in the next chapter, bye!