The Land of the Samurai ; 侍の国 (Gintama x Reader)

Oh, Yeah! Our Crib Is Number One

Shinpachi was seriously reconsidering confiding in his boss with this problem. After seeing Gintoki not even listening to what he was saying and instead, just opting to eat his parfait made him want to smash the glass onto the silver-haired man's forehead. "You alright there, Shinpachi?" you tried to dispel his anger that was arising, which seemed to work after you got his attention.

"Yes, I think. So, Gin-san... What do you think?"

"A panty thief, you say?" Gintoki repeated, not even taking a second glance at the younger boy.

Shinpachi's forehead twitched, "That's what I've been saying for the past ten minutes. Aneue got hit twice during the days I stayed over at your place." Before Gintoki could reply again, a waiter came around and distributed the food that you guys had ordered before.

"Gin-san, can't we do anything about the thief?"

"Huh? Can't we do anything about what?" Gintoki took a spoonful of his new sundae. You made sure to smack your friend shoulder to get him to pay attention, "Oi, I'm trying to eat."

"Shinpachi is trying to talk to you about the panty thief."

"Huh? A panty thief?" he asked once again.

"Yes, that's right. Aneue got hit twice during the days I stayed over at your place. Can't we do anything about it?"

"Huh? Can't we do anything about what?"

"I keep telling you! The panty thief! The panty thief!" Shinpachi yelled, getting attention from the other people in the restaurant.

"Right, a panty thief."

"This guy heard what I said." The younger boy muttered under his breath.

"They say in the old days, women didn't wear panties under their kimonos." he stated with his chocolate sundae all over his mouth. "Young ladies, gals, girls, princesses, all of them!"

"Clean yourself," you handed him a napkin. He didn't use it.

"Uh... You're referring to a single age group. You're supposed to say grannies, women, and girls."

"You fool! When you talk about underpants, panties, and no panties, it can only refer to young girls!" 

"Say, only old guys say panties." Kagura informed.

"What? For real?!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"The scanties are also no good."

"Nobody says that these days." 

"The one I can't stand are thongs. It took away girls' modesty and the pleasure from men." Gintoki admitted.

"I'm wearing a G-string right now." Kagura innocently revealed. You spit out your water. 

"What?!" Shinpachi, Gintoki and you shouted in unison.

"You're lying! You liar!"

"I'm not. I've been wearing it for years. It's so worn out, only the strings are left." 

"What kind of panties are those?" Shinpachi wondered. 

"In a way, it's vintage panties."

"Kagura, a young lady like yourself shouldn't be revealing things like that in public and certainly not in front of horny men like them," you shook your head at her behaviour. "Remind me to go shopping with you some time."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Anyway, women in the old days didn't put on underwear, didn't even wear them." With a creepy look he continued, "Wow, just thinking about it... hehe. Even though you're a princess under that kimono... You're a wildcat. That's kinda hot. Kinda like... She has this calm demeanour but- Whoa, look out!- Secretly she's a wildcat, right?"