Ice To Meet You

NATE-IVE INDIAN

"You are not having Indian tomorrow," he declares making it sound non-negotiable. I don't say anything and place my head back on his chest. I like hearing his heart beat. He said he won't whore around—around me—which means he will still whore around. If he can have his Sophia on the die, I will have Nate too. I won't give up my power until he won't give up his side chicks.

A part of me wants to believe that he wants me and I am the one who will make him believe in love and blah blah blah but what if I am not? What if I am the coleslaw on his plate—the replaceable side chick that is healthy but nobody really wants her. What if homestyle fries come around and he pushes me to the side and forgets all about me until his meal is over and then he is full; so, I am useless and then ultimately tossed in the trash. I am not coleslaw. I am the main course. I am the medium rare salmon doused in garlic butter.

Scratch that—I want to be Liam's appetizer, entrée and dessert.

"Do you like Salmon dunked in garlic butter sauce?" I inquire.

"I do," he says as he lights a cigarette and pulls the window down.

Maybe if he can give me exclusively then over time he will give me more but the image of Sophia and her superficial perfection irks me. It bothers me how good they look on paper — it bothers me how obviously compatible they are and how out of place I am in his life. I am sitting in his lap — snuggled and probably wrinkling his crisp white shirt with my being. He kisses the top of my head; can he sense my discomfort? Can he touch my out of placeness?

His gentleness makes me feel gooey. He's been holding me in his arms for a while now and I can tell he has no intention of letting go. I can't be myself with him until I process everything he has said to me.

"Just to clarify..." I pause to clasp my feelings. I am an overflowing faucet when it comes to him—what is it about him that makes me act like the girls I hated in high school? "When you said you won't whore around when you're with me—what does that mean? Will you still fuck different women on the side?" Am I on the side?

He takes a drag out of his cigarette and why do I have a feeling he's going to hurt me? I move away from him a little to create space—just in case—I don't want to be this close to him if he's not exclusively mine.

"Liam I'm selfish. If you're with me—I won't tolerate you entertaining with other women. If that's not okay with you, we can't do whatever we're doing here. I don't care about labels and making it official but if you're with me—you better be only with me and not doing me dirty. I don't want to look like a fool for being loyal," I say everything that's on my chest and why do I have a feeling I am asking for too much?

Since when did loyalty become too much to ask for? Shouldn't it be the norm? Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era.

What is he waiting for—Christmas? Say something godammit!

I look up and our gaze meets. I want to kiss his chin that is so close to my lips right now but that would just make everything I just said, so much weaker—and my resolve to receive exactly what I deserve—so much floppier. I just don't want to go to bed worrying that someone else is in his bed. It still stings that on the same night that he put me to bed he was in Sophia's.

He bends his head and presses his lips to mine and lightly places a kiss on them. I want to thrust my tongue in his and kiss him senseless and pull his hair and rip his clothes off... I really do. It's just that if I do, I will be Amanda or Sophia and imagine they couldn't keep him—what chance do I have?

I just have this feeling that if he gets to know me, if he spends time with me and tries for me—he'll fall in love with me. I know, I know, I am a wishful thinker but let a girl live, okay?

"I protect what's mine. You will never look like a fool," he verbalizes hid long thought out response but he's focusing on one aspect like he did when we were talking about Sophia. He's not going to give me what I need. I place my right one hand on the passenger seat and lift my ass up, this isn't working for me. He pushes my butt down and presses my body next to his—which part of what I said did he not understand?

"Liam I really need some space from you," I lie. I love his arms around me—it's better than Nutella straight out if the jar.

"Why can't you just go with the flow?" he exhaled loudly to show his exasperation. I don't care—this is non-negotiable.

"I am not dead yet Liam, I decide the direction of my life," I say half believing my words. A lot of times I do go with the flow, just not when my heart is heavily involved. I don't see how it goes, I either make it go my way or see it off.

Maybe I'll just remain single forever.

"You're so fucking sexy, it's unreal," Liam states and I am not sure if he's serious or just fucking with me.

"Why am I sexy?"

"You don't let anyone push you around. You want what you want and you're unapologetic about it," oh Liam, if only you know how many people have pushed me around and most of the times I don't get what I want. I often don't even get what I need.

I try to move again but he crushes me in his arms and I wrap my arms around him just as tightly. My body reacts to him intuitively.

"Why won't you say what I want to hear Liam?"

"Not everything has to be said—can't you feel what I feel towards you?" he's trying to be cheeky—I need reassurance—I need to know that we have this on lockdown.

"I need you to tell me how you feel, not just now but always because I can't rely on my instincts," I explain.

"Why not?"

"Because I've been fucked over before," I confess.

"I won't ever fuck you over." The firmness of his voice and lack of doubt in his tone is heartening. Why won't he put me at ease by just saying what I want to hear? Is he playing—oh wait.

"I'll have lunch with Nate tomorrow," I provoke him. If he will say things like I am his and make promises—he better give me his word or he isn't the only one with options. Thank god I didn't tell him Nate is a snooze.

He holds my chin in between his arms and forces me to look into his eyes. I can see the depth of his feelings and the anger I've caused within him but I need words Liam—I don't trust myself enough to allow my feelings to take over. I need more...

"You will not blackmail me into giving you exclusivity." He warns me and I can see the anger in his eyes intensifying by the minute. Fuck—I've just put him in a competitive spot without thinking it through.

"You will not keep me hanging by beating around the bush" I fight back. We are argumentative together—it's already becoming a battle I don't want to fight but if he thinks I will give up—he better wake up and smell the coffee.

I kiss his checks and his grip on my chin relaxes. I brush my nose up and down his nose and his nostrils flare up—his face softens. I move my face inches away so that we can talk, satisfied with testing my effect on him—as a distraction I have just received an A+.

I scratch my nails on his scalp and I can tell he likes that. He takes my hand away from his head and keeps it between us. Oh, I guess he doesn't.

"You are not getting lunch with the photographer."

"You are not meeting Sophia ever again."

Mia-1, Liam-1

"I can't do that, she's a family friend." Then let your family meet her.

"I can't do that, he's a work friend."

Mia-2, Liam-1 

Happy Saturday guys! Stayed up till 4:30 to upload this for you and keep my promise of writing a chapter every day. How are you doing? Hope you enjoy the book and do you guys want to be Instagram friends? My user name is my name, mrigankachawla :) Would love to see you guys!

Also, do you guys think he will agree?