facade // jeff wittek

one

hi
this is future me writing bc disclaimer,david's last name is spelt wrong for the first few chapters bc auto correct and it didn't hit me until i was already a few chapters in. so yes, i know it is misspelled pls do not remind me that i'm a fuck up :)

"Desiree, you really don't waste time anymore." My best friend, Adrianna says to me as I walk through the front door of our house. My head was throbbing and not to mention her testifies weren't making it any better.

I couldn't make it to my room without feeling like I was gong to fall over. Landing on the couch, I bury my head into the pillows to drown her remarks she was making at me. "Maybe this is a sign that you need to stop." She tells me, sitting next to me and running her hands through my hair.

"I will stop when the world stops spinning." I speak into the pillow, my voice sounding muffled. She walks away from me, probably going to get some food and medicine to help cure my terrible hangover.

Another night where I try to find a cure through alcohol. Internally, I was dying. But expressing the pain I was feeling, would make me appear too vulnerable and that wasn't me. At all. So, I continue to spend my weekends consuming something that takes my mind to what feels like a different reality.

Not to mention that the sole root of my pain was from someone who couldn't value me for what I am worth. Having that queen mentality isn't as easy as how society portrays it to be. But instead of showing that his mistakes take a major toll on me, I suppress them to a point where I forget they ever existed and the only thing I know how to feel is numb.

Every. Single. Day.

Putting up a front not only to my friends but to a whole platform where people look up to my lame ass. Not complaining, I am extremely grateful for the people who have helped bring me to where I am on this social spectrum. But to keep up a facade, acting like I am the happiest girl living my best life in the most one of the most toxic cities in the US.

I felt numb.

Happiness was a foreign notion to me. But shit, I was doing a damn good job at acting like I knew what it was.

In just ten minutes, Adrianna came back with a small plate of food along with a glass of water and bottle of Advil. "How long is this gonna last Desi?" Her tone shift is concise and it her emotions become transparent.

"I can handle myself Adri. I will always be careful." I reassure her, placing my hand on her cheek. Her eyes roll at my lazy attempt comforting her and she walks into the kitchen, resuming her late night cooking.

I turn over and take the medicine while getting a message in the process. Digging my hand in my bag, I sloppily search around for my phone.

I have no idea as to who this person could be but at the moment, it was the least of my concerns. My head was still in pain and all I wanted to do was sleep.

In which I did, because at the end of the day, I feel most happy when I am sleeping.