Goodbye Carter

f i v e

"Sometimes we aren't meant to get over someone, and we go on living a little bit emptier."
- Leo Christopher

Febuary 12th, 2014

I WAKE UP MONDAY MORNING with major regret, a headache, and a descent amount of anxiety as well.

I hadn't talked to Aiden since the party on Saturday. Not that I really wanted to anyways...
After our little "moment" had ended, Aiden quickly stumbled out of the bathroom- tripping drunkenly through the hallway and refusing to look back.

Sloppy.

That was all I could think.

Although that kiss was anything but...

I ended the night by asking Noah to give me a ride home, before I could do something even more stupid. And the ride was quiet, too quiet.
Noah drove Hannah, Georgia, and I home but Carter and Aiden had found their own rides. I couldn't help but to think if one of them, (if not both) had brought a girl home with them.

Yet, I pushed those thoughts away from my mind and thought of anything but.

My kiss with Aiden was a mistake. No doubt about it. Although, I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say that I was wondering about what Aiden thought of it...

Or if he even remembered it.

Of course he didn't, Aiden was a fuck boy. He didn't get flustered over things like this. To him
I was just another girl to add to his checklist.

I groan as I slowly slip myself out of bed. I practically scream as my bare back meets the cold air of my bedroom, sending shivers up my spine.

All I want to do is to lay back down, forget all my problems, and watch the last three Harry Potter movies. Yet, this is not possible. As it's not exactly acceptable to miss school for being nervous to see the guy you just made out with.

I was pathetic.

Why couldn't I be more like Aiden? Couldn't I be casual? It was a kiss. That's all. People do it all the time.

But it was my first.

Out of all people I choose for my first kiss, did it have to be Aiden? In Nick McAllister's bathroom, for that matter?

When I was in middle school I imagined the perfect date, the perfect guy, and the classic romantic, sweet kiss goodnight.

Poor twelve year old Kennedy, I just crushed her childhood dream.

I make my way to my closet, pulling on leggings and a baggy sweatshirt. Paring it with a baseball hat for extra measures. I would do whatever it took not to get noticed today.

I cross my room to my full size mirror, pulling my sweatshirt tighter to my shoulders as I do.

Okay, so I look frumpy.

That's fine. I could do frumpy. Lazy is the new stylish- right?

I shake my head and slip on my old vans, grabbing my backpack as I bound downstairs.

"Morning," I say in a croaky, sleep ridden voice. I give my mom a frown, silently communicating that this was indeed "not a good morning" specifically.

"Someone looks excited for school," my mom says with a smile and sarcastic voice.

"Oh yeah," I say with the same sarcasm, "it'll be the best day ever."

My mom gives me a knowing smile, "you just do you, baby," she comes to my side and gives me a kiss on my cheek, "you at least try to have a good day."