Goodbye Carter

n i n e

October 31st, 2014

CARTER DIDN'T LOOK LIKE I REMEMBERED HIM. His dark hair was longer, and in need of a trim, his eyes were tired and red like he had been working a night shift too long, and his skin had lost it's honey, tan coloring.

It had been eight months since I talked to him last. Eight months of forgetting the few months that we connected with each other. Eight months since he told me that he liked me.

"Carter?" Noah says, interrupting my thoughts.

To be honest, I was surprised Noah had remembered his name, we hadn't talked to him for a long time. He stopped sitting with us at lunch the day we had our fight.

"Oh hey," Carter says, his eyes first flickering towards Aiden, obviously ignoring his previous comment, before finally looking at me.

At first I'm nervous that he'll yell at me, or roll his eyes and walk away. Yet, he doesn't. He's just looking at me, studying my features; noticing everything that has changed. He notices the biggest change last, as his eyes finally fall toward Aiden's fingers intertwined with my own and the large jacket on my shoulders.

I see him visibly stiffen and look away, turning his attention towards Hannah and Georgia, "long time no see," he finally says, looking anywhere but me.

Hannah politely nods, "yeah, it's good to see you," but I can tell she doesn't really mean it. To be honest, my friends had forgotten about him pretty quickly.

I didn't.

"What are you doing here?" Aiden repeats, his voice slightly less aggressive and but more bitter.

"I work here," he says with no expression, staring Aiden down.

"On Halloween?" Aiden says, his judgement apparent in his voice.

"Some of us actually have to support ourselves," Carter replies with a bite. I could tell he was getting angry.

I squeeze Aiden's hand from beside me and give him a look, silently hoping he would take the hint and try not to pounce on Carter.

Before Aiden can reply, Georgia interrupts, "yeah, yeah, whatever Carter's here. How cool," she deadpans, "I want a yummy, gooey donut and some hot chocolate!"

"Oh right," Carter says sheepishly, he glances at me quickly before looking away, "you guys can sit wherever you want, I'll get some menus for you guys."

***

After Georgia had scarfed down a chocolate donut and some old coffee, she was starting to vomit up all of the leftover liquor in her stomach.

"Oh fuck," Noah says as we all see Georgia start to dry heave on the table in front of us.

"Shit," Aiden says, "we need to get her home."

We all collectively agree as Noah and Aiden get out of the booth to help her out the café door and to the car.

Hannah starts to pull out her wallet and go up to the counter but I stop her before she can, "It's alright," I say with a smile, "I got it."

Hannah gives me a look, "are you sure you want to talk to-" she glances behind the counter at Carter, who was wiping the table in front of him with a dirty rag.

"Now's as good a time as any," I say with a reassuring smile that didn't quite meet my eyes, "you go and help the boys," I say with a laugh as Noah and Aiden try to carry Georgia out the exit.

She gives me an encouraging smile before jogging to help Aiden and Noah.

I make my way to the counter, swallowing the nerves rising in my gut.

"Hey," I say as I reach the counter.

Carter looks up to meet my eyes, "hey," he says simply.

"Umm," I continue, "how have you been? Haven't really seen you around lately."

"I guess you haven't been looking," he replies before squatting down to put the rag away.

"Oh," I say, not knowing how else to reply.

"I see you and Aiden are together now," he meets my eyes with a grimace, "that wasn't really that unexpected though."

"I don't-" I start, not knowing how to respond, "we've been friends for-" I stop again and look away, "we started dating over the summer," I say finally.

Carter nods, "well, you look happy," his eyes are genuine for the first time throughout the entire conversation, "I just hope you know that he's a risk."

I furrow my eyebrows, "he's not like that anymore," I say, becoming defensive, knowing that Carter was alluding to Aiden's player ways.

I could trust Aiden, I knew I could. He promised me that he had forgotten his fuck boy tendencies the minute we kissed.

"Guys like him don't change Kennedy, and you know that," he's once again completely genuine, he wasn't bullshitting me.

"You don't know him," I reply while looking away.

"Everyone knows a guy like him," he says with a roll of his eyes, his favorite pastime.

And suddenly I'm transported back to eight months ago, in biology class, where we first met. I can't help myself, "keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there."

I regret it as soon as it comes out of my mouth. Too many memories too soon.

He's silent at first. He's looking into my eyes and studying my features, and then he's laughing, he's actually laughing.

"God Kennedy, get a new joke already," he says with a boyish smile.

I can't keep the smile off of my face either, "it's a good one, why get rid of it?"

He's still chuckling, "such a dad."

I snort.

He laughs in response.

I calm myself down before asking, "how much? For the food, I mean."

He gives me a slight smirk, "don't worry about it, I got it."

"No-" I say, "really, how much?"

He shakes his head, "a donut and coffee aren't going to cost me my job, you know. Just go help out your friends," he says as he motions out the window to Aiden, Noah, and Hannah trying to shove Georgia into the car.

"Thanks Carter," I say with a sheepish smile, "you're still the sweetest guy I know," I say while reaching over the counter to playfully punch his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. I'll see you later?" He's still smiling, waiting for a reply, and looking hopeful.

I feel a small flutter in my chest that I choose to ignore.

"Sure," I say as I start to backup to the door, "goodbye Carter," I say as I turn to the exit.

I'm about to grab the handle and walk out before I hear Carter's smooth voice from behind me.

"Kennedy?" he says.

I turn to once again meet his eyes.

"By the way, you make one hell of an angel."