SHUSH

Bang Bang

************
"I was never ready,

************

I walked past Olivia's room and heard her crying.

I hated myself for not being able to go in there and hold her.

I shouldn't have told her that I don't love her. I shouldn't have lied.

I sat on the floor with my back towards her door.

I listened to her crying. Which tore me inside.

Why? Why can't I go inside? Why can't I be there for her? Why can't I be enough?

She's a good person, while I'm not. I'm the definition of the devil itself.

A few minutes had passed and Olivia continued crying. But all of a sudden I heard her scream, "LEAVE ME ALONE DON'T TOUCH ME!!!"

I stood up and slammed her door open.

I saw her lying on her bed with her hands wrapped around her bedsheet.

"Olivia?" I said as I ran to her.

Shit it's happening again.

Fuck.

I tried shaking her.

But she wasn't waking up.

I pulled her up and held her bridal style then I took her to the bathroom and placed her in the tub.

As I placed her in the bathtub I turned on the shower to cold and water started flowing on her body.

Olivia finally said, "Again??" As I nodded.

She started shivering so I turned the shower off and grabbed the biggest towel I could find and wrapped it around her wet body.

I walked her back to her room and said, "I'll turn around, you change."

She nodded as I turned around and waited for her to change.

"Uhmm can you grab a shirt for me from the drawer in front of you?" She asked in her angelic voice.

"Yeah." I replied as I grabbed a shirt and gave it to her while I closed my eyes.

"Thank you." She said as I turned back around.

"You can turn around now."

"Let me put you to bed." I said as I started removing the extra pillows on her bed.

"I can't sleep. I'm afraid I'd see him again."

I clenched my jaw as she said, 'him'.

Who's him you wonder??

He whose name shall not be said is the animal who raped Olivia.

He is the reason she has PTSD. 'Had' to be precise, but it's obvious that it's coming back.