The Banishing Act

The Banishment, the Witch and the List

"I don't believe it! They banish me?! I bring Grandma Tsunade back to be the fifth hokage and they banish me! ... oh well, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. It was only a matter of time. At least, I ..." He touched his lips sadly for a moment before shaking it his thought away. "I'm glad I hid some supplies and a change of clothes in case something like this happened." said Naruto as he ran as fast as he could away from the village and towards his hidden things.

Naruto suddenly stopped when he sensed people coming, "Two people coming from Konoha ... feels like, Torune and Fu, Danzo's ROOT anbu and two people coming from the opposite direction ... feels like. Shit! It's Itachi and Kisame. Damn! I can't fool these guys with clones." He summoned a clone. "Go get my supplies." The clone nodded and left.

Naruto sat in a clearing and waited. He knew trying to out run these guys was a dumb idea. His best bet was to get them to confront each other. If his plan worked they might just turn on each other and give him a chance to escape.

A kunai flew by and grazed his arm, "Found you. You're coming with us, brat." said Kisame as he and Itachi entered the clearing.

"Wrong, the kyuubi vessel is to come with us." said Torune as he and Fu entered the clearing.

"Of course, he would want Naruto ... a fight it is then." said Itachi.

The blonde winced. He wanted them to confront each other, but he didn't feel like potentially get caught in the crossfire of a deadly between S-class ninjas or have his clone destroyed by a stray jutsu or kunai. "HOLD IT!" They all look at Naruto. "It wouldn't be a good idea to fight. After all, a big fight will bring unwanted attention and that's something you don't need. Especially you two, Itachi, Kisame. Konoha might not give two shits about me, but do you think they will let those bounties on your heads slip through their greedy fingers and Torune, Fu, the walking mummy does not need you to be seen. It might expose some things that he does not want exposed." The four ninja lower their weapons. Naruto, surprisingly, was right and clearly knows more than he lets on. "So how about a contest of sorts instead. The one who wins I will go with and cause no trouble"

The ninja look at each and Kisame says, "Alright, you have our attention, brat. What's the contest?"

Naruto mentally smirks as he sensed that his clone got the supplies and was coming back, "If I'm going to be brainwashed and turned into a mindless weapon I would want drop dead gorgeous partner. Trust me, it will make the brainwashing easier. Or if I'm going to be killed as a sacrifice ... well, what more could a guy ask for than to have a sexy executioner ... so the contest is ... who's hotter? Itachi," holds up a series of pictures of a naked Itachi, "or Torune." He holds up a series of pictures of a naked Torune. Torune and Itachi's jaws drop. "So, who would like to help judge?"

"ME!" said Kisame and Fu

Naruto, Fu and Kisame sat in a circle and laid out the pictures.

"Damn, brat, these pictures are good!" smirked Kisame

Fu said, "I agree, but how did you get them? Wow, I didn't know about this birthmark-"

*BANG*BAM*

Naruto looked up and saw Kisame and Fu out cold on the ground. Standing over them were two very pissed off ninja, Itachi and Torune.

Itachi grabbed Naruto by the throat and slammed him up against a tree, "Who gave you those pictures?" hissed the Uchiha and Torune had his poisonous insects inch closer to Naruto, urging the blonde to answer the question.

"I took the pictures-" Itachi applied some pressure to Naruto's throat making him gag as a silent warning to tell the truth, but Naruto was looking passed Itachi's shoulder. "Hey, those are mine!" Itachi and Torune spun around and their killer intent went through the roof when they saw their partners cramming the pictures into their pockets. The two infuriated ninjas forgot about Naruto for the moment in favor of beating the living daylights out of their partners.