Doe Eyes ✧ Gotham [1] #Wattys2019

chapter seventeen

PLEASE KEEP COMMENTING YOUR REACTIONS TO THINGS THAT HAPPEN DURING THE CHAPTER AND JUST THE CHAPTER IN GENERAL

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                             24 hours later, Jane was no longer on suicide watch. She was allowed to return back to the rest of the inmates, with no care. There was no extra medication or extra empathy bestowed onto her, and for that, she was grateful. She hated when people gave pity. However, within the hour of her release, she was forced into another session with good ol' Dr. Johnson. Jane internally groaned when the door opened and revealed him in the same position he always was in: on a chair with a notepad in hand and legs crossed at the knee. At least this time, when the door opened, he looked up at her and gave her a small smile. Jane returned a small one as she took her seat in front of him and the door closed behind the guards.

"Jane." He nodded in her direction.

"Dr. Johnson." 

He leaned forward and placed his elbow on his crossed knee. His hand touched his chin in a serious matter. "What happened between our last session and the other night? Why did you try to kill yourself?"

Jane was growing frustrated with this man. He didn't try to help her one bit, and she always left feeling less of herself. Despite this, she remained polite and answered honestly. "The electroshock session left me in a really dark place that I couldn't get out of."

Dr. Johnson shook his head. "Oh Jane.. You should've told me."

I did, She wanted to growl at him. He didn't listen to a single word she ever said and just gave her more pills to take that didn't make much of a difference. She took a deep breath, deciding against yelling at him. "I know. I'm sorry."

You should've yelled at him. The voices started to return. However, Jane didn't really mind them. 

You should teach the guy a lesson; Get in his face.

He deserves it. He didn't listen and now he's blaming you.

Not that it's not your fault because it is. Idiot can't even kill herself right.

Jane closed her eyes to refocus her mind. When she opened, it did not surprise her that Dr. Johnson was back to writing on his notepad, like he always did. This time, however, Jane's curiosity got the best of her. She tried looking over his hand while she asked, "What are you writing? I've barely said anything."

Dr. Johnson didn't even spare a glance up at Jane as he continued writing. "Yet you've said so much."

Jane's face scrunched up in confusion. What? That made no sense. "Or I haven't said anything of importance." This caught him, and even Jane, by surprise. Jane didn't talk back. But she was growing impatient and frustrated. She was tired of going around in a circle with this therapist. 

Look at you Jane. Finally growing a set of balls.

Like this, you aren't half bad.

Still got a long way to go though, sweetheart.

Dr. Johnson looked up at Jane. "Just leave all of it to me. I'm the doctor." He uncrossed his legs. "Now, have you been taking your meds?" Jane nodded. "Okay, well I'm going to be up-ing the dosage. I don't think they're working well enough on your mental state. That should fix all of your problems."

More drugs, great, Jane thought. She mentally rolled her eyes. She had been taking her meds but they weren't working. She didn't need them. 

You don't need those drugs, the voices agreed.

Just stop taking them. You'll feel so much better.

Jane considered it. If he wasn't going to help her, maybe she would have to help herself.

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Jane was practically thrown back into the community area by the guards. They had been getting rougher and rougher with her and she felt herself wanting to fight them more frequently. The community area was decently packed. Each little group clumped together all across the room. They were screaming and laughing at each other, while some groups fought one another. Inflicting pain was the main source of entertainment among them. 

Jane found her little spot in the corner and sat down, preparing for another day of staring and driving herself crazy. Maybe a Jerome visit or two. However, to Jane's surprise, someone plopped in the seat in front of her. Jane looked up, a little taken aback, to find the blonde angel from the other day, Laney.

Laney smiled at her. "Hey! Jane, right?" Her mouth was full of gorgeous white teeth. She was beautiful and left Jane starstruck.

Jane nodded. "Y-Yeah, you're Laney?"

Laney nodded. Her blonde hair bounced as she did. "Just come back from Dr. Johnson? I recognize that frustrated look."

Jane nodded again. "Yep. The guy just up-ed my dose because of what happened the other night. Don't think it'll do much."

Laney leaned over the table, as the screaming in the room got progressively louder. At first, Jane had flinched at the volume change but Laney didn't even budge. She must've been here for a while. "Yeah, that's what good ol' Harold does. Pills after pills." She looked around the room and then back at Jane. "I've been here for a while and that's what he does to everyone. I'm beginning to think they just make us worse."

Jane frowned. "Seriously?"

Laney smiled at how gullible Jane was and shrugged. "Nah, probably not. Although, they definitely aren't trying to cure any of us of our insanity ridden minds." Laney got progressively more dramatic as she spoke. It brought a smile to Jane's face. "Which reminds me." She playfully winked at Jane before continuing. "What are you in for?"

Jane visually tensed. "Uh.."

Laney catching on to Jane's uncomfortableness, tried to make her feel better. "Don't worry, I won't judge. A couple years ago, I killed my parents. That's what I'm in for." She leaned back. "I don't care though. They deserved it. They weren't the nicest people."

Knowing that made Jane feel a little better. It was definitely time for her to move on and accept what she did. "I murdered a bunch of people thinking they weren't real." Admitting it in a very simple matter actually helped Jane. A small weight was lifted off her shoulders as she began to accept it. Yes, she killed all of those people and felt all of this guilt but she had to move on with her life and accept it.

Laney nodded. "Nice. Hey, shit happens. Even to the best of us."

Did she just refer to murder as a small unfortunate mistake in life? Jane thought. Jane shook it away quickly though. Yes, Laney was a murderer as well and probably just as crazy as Jane - but she was one of the sanest people she had met in her time here. And it made Jane the happiest she had ever been before.