Roommates

Chapter 18

Cara P.O.V.

Talking to Jane helped me realize more about my feelings for Hannah. She was so patient and understanding with me. Something that my own family wasn't like with me.  She even took care of me when I was sick. It was something I didn't understand. Why would she do that for me? At that time I didn't know if I could have done the same thing if the roles were reversed since I was terrified of getting sick.

Now I think I could. I wanted to see her smile and be happy. I also had this desire where I wanted to comfort and even hold her which was beyond any need I ever felt before. I never want to see her hurt.

When she came into the restaurant something was off about her. She didn't seem like her normal cheery self. She wouldn't describe her day as just fine without elaborating. I didn't want to push her into telling me something she wasn't ready to discuss. I just felt so conflicted. I didn't like seeing her upset. It made me mad that someone or something could have caused her to feel that way. Is this what falling in love was like?

Crushes, love, and relationships were a mystery to me. It's like my mind failed to understand them. I just knew that I grew to like and care about Hannah.  Jane told me to be more upfront with my feelings. She said it wasn't a good thing to keep them in because I could lose the opportunity to let Hannah know how I felt.

"Do you like Hannah?" Jane asked.

"Yes," I answered. I've tried very hard to not like her in the beginning, but it was hard not to.

"Do you want to see her with anyone else?"

"No." The thought made me feel nauseous and just the idea of her being with someone else made me feel jealous.

"Then tell her that you like her," Jane stated.

"I...can't. What if she doesn't like me in that way?"

"If she did like you, I don't think you would have noticed," Jane scoffed.

"I am very observant,' I said in offense.

"Not when it comes to yourself." Jane rolled her eyes at me.

I bit my tongue because I knew Jane was right.  When it came to interactions with people, I was blind as a bat.  "What if she's straight? Then I have zero chance"

"You said she played softball," Jane said bluntly.

"So that's just a stereotype."

"Hey, some stereotypes have some truths."

"So a fifty-fifty chance. I feel better already," I said, sarcasm dripping from my voice.

"You also said that you asked her what kind of guys were her type and she said she didn't have one."

"Just cause she doesn't have a type, doesn't mean she's gay." I shook my head at Jane's reasoning.

"She did say it was a date."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean...."

"You're such a negative Nancy." Jane rolled her eyes. "I'll ask for you."

"How are you going to do that?"

"I'll just go up to her and ask girl, are you gay?" Jane said it so casually that I was afraid that she asked it before.

"Please don't do that." I was completely horrified by Jane's question.

"It's the simplest way to find out," Jane said with a shrug.