Daddy Issues (18+)

Chapter 2 • Neglect To Reject

LAST NIGHT was filled with, signs of a panic attack coming on, which I stopped before it became too deranged. Which only began in the first place, because of my procrastination of assignments I still have left over, which is due Monday. So I ended up doing it last night, until four-thirty, in the morning, due to taking, small breaks. Only to be woken up at seven, to my mother yelling at me to call my friend, Sammy.

Which is typical of my mother, to try and make me get out of this house, saying, "if I don't, I could become depressed." Which she didn't know, I'm beyond depressed, to that I'm still harming myself, but in a different way now. Which in the first place, I never thought i'd do, but at the same time I also never thought i'd do the other mechanism either, which I haven't done for a while now. But now, it's eight and I'm currently getting ready to hang out with Sammy.

Funny how the imitation of my mother works. Because an hour ago, we were arguing about how I wanted to stay home until it was time to work and now, my plans were changed.

But I didn't hate hanging out with Sammy, though, I'm rather happy to, but these days it's harder to keep a friendship up for me, especially because I needed even more alone time than usual and because it felt like a task, so I just have to disappear. Example is, not contacting people for months, unless it's Charlotte and it'd only be because of work, which is why, Sammy and me haven't hung out, which now thinking of it, I have to hurry and get ready, since shes suppose to come pick me up in an hour.

–

After letting my hair dry, from the shower I took, I put my hair into a pony. Then sliding on baggy overalls with a striped, long shirt, one stripe white and the other lines, black. I sighed, looking in the mirror at myself. I didn't want to do anything today, every outfit I put on made me look horrible. My arms and thighs were the main problem, especially with my height being five - one, which made me feel like everything wasn't portioned out well. Everything else was fine but my chubby cheeks, arms, and thighs.

And not to mention, my baggy overalls made me look even more short and chubby, than I already am. I'm close to canceling just because of how I feel about myself and how I look. My phone buzzed, snapping me out of my thoughts, I diverted my attention to the text from my father, which read: How are you Janie? Janet and me miss you. I furrowed my eyebrows at the text. Sure she does, that little bitc-.  "Janie! Sammy's here!"

"I'll be down in one second!" I yelled, quickly texting back my dad: I'm good, how are you? I miss you too, when can I see you? I grabbed my side bag and hurried down the stairs. "Janie!" I heard from the kitchen. I turned my head to see my mother and Sammy sitting on the barstools we had, probably catching up or gossiping. Which my mother loved to do with Sammy, since she saw her as a friend, or even as a daughter, since she practically lived with us growing up. But, for that, my mother always compared me to her, in fights, wishing, which I quote, "I was as perfect as her."

"Sammy!" I said, with a smile. She got up, hugging me tight, "I've missed you so much!" she said, into the hug. "Me too," I responded. We pulled away as my mother asked, "what are you guys gonna do today?" with a smile. Sammy answered, telling her our plans for today, surprising me with all the stuff we're, suppose to do before three, which is when I have work. As they talked, I couldn't help but take in Sammy's, newish appearance.

Her blonde hair flowed below her shoulders, with perfect, tan skin that brought out her ocean blue eyes and a new nose ring, that I wish I could rock like she does. Even though people say, there's no such thing as perfect, Sammy is. I mean, just look at her, she's perfectly skinny, with an hourglass figure and I . . have hip dips and a cardboard box as a body. Her breast, the perfect size and mine, let's just say, they've been the same size since the seventh grade. Her nails, freshly manicured and painted, as mine, are freshly bitten, which is a horrible habit of mine.