Please Notice Me || Jungkook

- 16 -

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"Have you dated?" Jungkook asked.

"Why are you asking me?" I replied, my brows furrowing up.

"Is it forbidden to ask?"

Why's he always returning my questions with questions by the way? "I'm not obliged to answer that. I'm not asking you about your personal life so why question mine?"

"You know you don't have to ask me about mine. My life's a magazine. I'm sure you've seen me date before. Hm... I think I dated about 3 girls in college. Lisa being the last one. I'm quite sure you know her."

He did have to mention her name after all. So I thought it might not be a bad idea to ask about the call. "It was her calling. I caught a glimpse of your phone when it rang."

"Um, yeah, the other day she asked if I wanna get back with her." He displays an uninterested face talking about it.

Is it alright to talk about this though? "Do you?"

"What do you think?" he eyes me looking for answers.

"How should I know?" I turn away, my cheeks heating up.

"Can't you still read me yet? We've been hanging out for three weeks. You at least have to be familiar with me somehow."

"Why should I get familiar with you?"

"You're hurting my feelings y/n. Here I am working hard to get to know you."

"You don't have to. The program's gonna be next week and we'll definitely part ways after that."

“It’s next week already? Ahh… I lost my sense of time being with you all the time.”

“Time just pass by with me doesn't it?"

"I didn't notice cuz I was enjoying it. Why are you always so negative about yourself?"

"Because I’m a pessimist? It's easier for me to think that way."

"You're difficult, you're hard on yourself, you're a pessimist? I wonder what other unhelpful trait you're hiding?"

"Guess for yourself."

"Ah, let's just watch this movie."

He doesn't bother me anymore after that. I know I’m being unfair. I can see how much he wants to overcome the wall between us but I just cannot let him in. At this point, I’m already deep in the waters for him. And if I let him conquer me even more, I’ll definitely be trapped and will not be able to escape. And I just cannot let him do that. I need some mercy. Please Jungkook, slow down, I don’t wanna die drowning in my love for you.

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I stare into space on my shift before opening today. The week has passed and in two days, I'll be performing that song with Jungkook and everything will be over. The thought keeps bugging me that I even forget that I’m brewing some coffee for myself. Yoongi catches me spacing out with a cup on my hand under the running coffee maker. He turns it off for me right in time before the drink spills all over the table.

"Yah, y/n!" He hits my head softly.

"Ow..." I murmured. "Sunbae..."

“What’s your problem? It almost spilled. It could’ve burned your fingers.”

“I’m sorry…”

“If you’re thinking about that boy, snap out of it.”

“Ye…”

But he pats me on the head and his gaze softens, “It’ll be alright.”

I just feel blessed looking back at him. He’s the best sunbae. And I’d probably be lost without him.

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Jungkook asks to meet at the music room for our last day of practice. It’s a day before the program and I’m a little nervous. I’ve never performed in front of a crowd before.

When I enter the room, he surprises me with a gift. He hands me a box wrapped in glittering paper.

"Tada! Open it. I'm sure you'll like it," he said with a smile on his excited face.

But I feel like I can’t really accept it. Giving me a gift without reason, it’s not something I can just take. "I'm not even sure if it's alright to accept this."

"It's a gift y/n. Accept it. Don't hurt my feelings."

"But I never asked for this."

"Do you always have to ask?"

"I told you, I don't want to owe people."

"You will not owe me anything with this, I promise."

“I hate promises.”

“Ugh…” he just rolls his eyes at me. He’s totally annoyed, “If you don’t wear this I’m really gonna get mad at you.”

"Then get mad at me."

"You're too hard, now I get it. Now I’m really sure why you don't have people around you."

"You're attacking me on a personal level because of this gift? Is this how you want your gifts to be taken? You can’t force everyone to appreciate everything you give. Not all people like receiving gifts. And that includes me.”

He doesn’t say anymore and he just sulks on the side with his arms crossed. He looks like a baby boy. My inner noona is squealing. He’s too cute. But I’m standing my ground today.

I add, “I’m just explaining it to you. It won’t always go your way every time.”

“Things don’t always go my way y/n and you’re a concrete example of one,” frustration spread across his face.

“Then you should just accept it. And it's my choice to be alone by the way. But I can be nice if I want to."

"Then that's being plastic. Forget it y/n."

"It's called being human."

"But you're not like that. You're not human."

"What? Are you really that pissed off at me? Now I’m not even a human being to you?"

"I am. So just wear that damn dress tomorrow."

Then he walks out on me again. There he goes with his drama again. So it’s a dress? I just grimace at his receding built. Why’s he acting like this with me? Jeon Jungkook, you’re really driving me crazy!

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To be continued…

- nantokanarusa 19.02.19