Please Notice Me || Jungkook

- Yoongi POV Chapter -

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I like her. I like y/n a lot. She's hardworking, dependable and a little miserable, it's cute. But she knows how to take care of herself. She proved to me just how strong she is the other day when she spoke out about a guy who was trying to touch her.

Flashback

"I'm sorry, but I'd like to ask you to leave," I heard y/n tell a male customer from the counter. It seems something happened.

"What miss? I've just ordered a latte from your café," the customer tried to defend himself.

What really happened? I don't want to meddle yet, I have to hear what y/n will have to say next.

"If you don't want me to report you sir, please leave while I'm being nice," the look on her face is fierce. Seems like this guy did something to her.

The guy just hisses, "What? I just brushed my hand on your behind and I didn't mean it."

"Doing it twice, I don't think it wasn't deliberate. And I saw you sir. You moved your hand just in time for me to pass by. We can review the cctv cameras if you want to. But I'll file a complaint and make sure you get what you deserve."

I smirk at how she imposes her rights and it's not bad. If she believes she's right, then there's nothing wrong with it. And I believe her anyway so I'll surely back her up on her stand.

Cowardly backing away, realizing he chose the wrong prospect, the guy leaves a 5 dollar bill on the table with his untouched latte. I see y/n sigh hard after the guy has gone. So much for the tough façade.

She walks back to the counter all drained and flushed. She looks exhausted.

"Glad you didn't need my help," I told her.

"Dealing will guys like that, I will never need your help. They're trash and they need to be thrown."

"Whew... scary."

"You saw me sunbae. But of course I will never get used to that. It exhausts me every time."

"Good job anyways." I give her a thumb up and she just softly smiles at me.

End of flashback

But lately I find her just staring into space thinking about something. She has been nothing but focused this past few months and I think it has to do with something. Or someone. I wished hard it's the former though.

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Until I found out that she's actually crushing on some handsome guy her age. I never thought the tough y/n can be cute too. I've seen him a couple of times. There's no way I can forget him cuz every time he comes in, I notice a number of girls also spend their time in the café even after he has gone. One time while I was serving frappe to a table, they were squealing hard at someone and when I turn to look who the person is, it's that pretty boy. I just shrug at the idea. But even if I wanted to ignore him, here is y/n staring at him from the counter. It strikes me, hard. How can y/n notice my feelings now? I grit my teeth just passing by her. Forget it, I'll just continue being the sunbae she thinks I am.

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He's here again. That good-looking wimp and for sure he's here for y/n again. I don't want to acknowledge it but since y/n said she likes that guy, I guess I'll just really have to keep my feelings to myself. The moment she said he started noticing her, I knew it's bad news for me. And it surprised me that he's actually liking her back. Then I knew y/n is drifting farther and farther away from me.

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At first, I wanted to challenge him. So I went to her apartment all drunk just to gather all my guts to confess to her. The next day, I grabbed y/n by the arm, showing her the real me. But it only turned me soft again cuz the look on her face that night and that day all but made me lose my ground. I cannot hurt her. I cannot be the way I am with other girls with her. She's one in a million and she deserves better than my possessive self. I changed my ways for her.

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Until he finally breaks her heart. I knew it would come one day. He liked her, but there was something missing. She drinks her sorrows for the night and I tried to listen even if my heart bleeds at the sight of her crying for another guy. But what can I do? I can only be her sunbae now. All I can do is stay with her through all this and offer her a shoulder to cry on. That's the best I can do for her.

In her sleeping form, after all that crying, I stare at her. Even after all this, I still like her a lot. How I wish I'm the guy, so she won't be crying like this anymore. Fvck that retard. He doesn't know what he's missing hurting her like this. He doesn't deserve an angel like y/n. And I don't think I do too. She's too precious for this world. I just want to take her pain all away.

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With her crying for days, I couldn't help but confess to her again. I know it's not the right time but I kissed her. At least I can get him off her mind. I'm such a lovesick puppy, I know. But I can do this much for her. Only for her.

When she asked me if I wanted to date her, every little cell in my body rushed to my head. Of course I do! You don't even have to ask! Those were the words inside of my head. But when I look at her, all I can see are those tears she's hiding from me. It's still written all over her face. She still loves that jerk. Four months can't heal her. And maybe another four months still can't. So I rejected her offer with a heavy heart. But of course, I can't let her see all of my pain. I'm the sunbae she looks up to, I can't show her any less than that. I can't show her any weakness.

I pulled an all-nighter at my favourite bar in town that night. It was too much to bear. I really want y/n but I don't want to scare her away. She said she wanted to make me happy. God, she doesn't even know what she's talking about. She doesn't know how much I corrupt her in my mind every night. That part of me has always been there and I cannot let her know that. There's no way I'll damage her innocence just because of my desires. I can die keeping this secret from her. I love her that much.

Luckily, I meet a couple of drunkards on my way home. It's just what I need. Maybe this will put me to sleep tonight. I hit them blow by blow and they hit me back. I felt just right. I needed this tension. I need this physical pain. I needed to let this emotional pain off my back.

When I met y/n in the morning, I felt devastated. She's worried about how I've been, with all the bruises I got from brawling last night. I was barely holding back when she starts treating me. She's so close, I can smell her scent. It's making me dizzy. I didn't know what came over me, but this time, I kissed her. I made out with her. She didn't push me away, or maybe she couldn't. That's when I knew I crossed the line. Fvck me for being unable to hold my ground. I'm so sorry y/n. I'm sorry for being a dlck.

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And right now, this annoying guy is pestering on me about hiring him. Hell no! After snatching y/n completely away from me, there's no way in hell I'll hire him in my café. I know I'm being stuck up and all but as much as I want to be good to y/n like I used to, I still can't mend my own broken heart. I may look tough and unaffected all the time but I still really like her. And maybe it's not gonna heal up as long as she's working for me. As long as I'm seeing her everyday. I countdown to the days she's gonna graduate and that's in four months. After that time, maybe I'll finally move on from her. Just maybe.

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The end.

- nantokanarusa 19.04.21