••Tanner's POV
I honestly should've seen this coming. After the fight, Taylor was mad, it was evident she was pretty steamed that I didn't show my trust in her. And I know I should've, but now? I don't know what I'm feeling, it's more like all of these emotions are bottled up and I won't be able to focus on anything until I make it right with her. It's almost like my heart is numb, and I can't express what I say.
And I was going to make it right tonight, all up until Taylor showed up with a new guy, bringing him back to her hotel laughing and teasing eachother. That is when I completely lost my composure. If there's a reason for me to lose my trust in her, I can tell you straight, that this is the reason.
I pace for a couple minutes after they go into the hotel, the night sky finally settling with a cloudy presence over the horizon. Thinking over why she would do this, so soon after we just had a fight. I understand it was a stupid fight, but was it really so terribly bad to bring a boy home with you the night after?
I was her first kiss, surely she wouldn't just turn around and let him be her first so quickly. Taylor isn't like that, not the Taylor I know. There's protectiveness in there somewhere, and there's also jealousy, more than my ego would care to admit. I don't want her with another guy, especially one that could take advantage of her. I don't trust her with another guy, I don't trust her with any guy, not even me. I can't trust myself because I might hurt her, even though in this situation, she might hurt me.
Honestly, I don't know what I'm still doing out here. One- Two, hours later? But it's not the time spent in there that kills me, it's the thoughts about what they're doing. The only thing that keeps me sane is that night we spent sleeping on the beach, her head curled into my chest. She had told me that she cared about me, and that was enough for me to convince myself that I loved her. I didn't tell her, frankly because she hasn't said it to me, and I didn't get the chance before last night. I had gone to tell her, because it was absolutely driving me wild, so, at midnight, I drove up to her hotel, just to misinterpret a conversation and make myself out to be an idiot.
So I suppose that's the reason I'm up here at 8:30 on a night that could be spent clubbing and drinking away my troubles. But if there's one thing I've learned from Taylor, it's to face the hardships head on. Don't go investigating and trying to look for the ways around the issue at hand. There's more important things to be dealt with, and my priorities on that list all center around Taylor at this moment, and making sure she's safe. If she doesn't want to be with me, so be it, but I need her safe. Either way, I'm in love with her and there's no way I'd let some guy off the street take advantage of her because she lets her emotions get the better of her.
I sit here outside battling my urge to barge up there, rip out the extra key she hides under the plant, and beat the guy up right there. But I have to at least wait until he comes out, so Taylor will at least know I'm such a bad guy, and that I do trust her. Which is true, it's just that that trust is building, and right now, it's slim, just because of how it looks.
About 10 minutes later, the guy Taylor arrived with emerges out, hair messy and a dazed smirk perched on his lips as he glances up and down the street for his taxi.
"Hey man," I call out, holding up a hand when he looks. His brow creases as he heads over skeptically, finally easing up when he recognizes me.
"Hey, you're Tanner Wil-" He starts but I cut him off.
"Stay away from Taylor," Then, I shrug before rearing back and punching him before the response leave his mouth. He drops quickly, his head hitting the ground quickly in a small puddle of blood where his nose is cracked. I glance around, and seeing no one has seen, I pull him around the corner and against the alley wall before I shrug over my hood and trudge into the shadows.
•
••Taylor's POV
Before you even start bad mouthing me and asking what had happened or even making assumptions, let me just get it out in the clear. No, we did not sleep together. Suprisingly, we actually talked with the Titantic playing in the background of our conversation. Let me be real though with you, we did kiss, we did kiss a good bit of that time. I'm not saying anything more than I had a good time tonight. It wasn't sexual, it didn't have to be. It felt great to just hang around Tyler. He's so laid-back and real. It's easy to have a conversation with him, because he'll so easily open up about his life and so maybe he's not so comfortable to tell me every single part, that's not a problem. I'm definitely not telling him half of mine.
That half, of course, is Tanner, and I don't feel like bringing it up and going into all that detail when we're getting into more emotional depths. I needed time away from Tanner, that was the truth, and just talking with Tyler is enough at the moment. It took me away into that daydreamy land again, and I like it every once in awhile, to get away. But in the end, you need reality, and indefinitely, Tanner tends to be the harsh reality that I care about, despite how much I also have grown to care and have undeniable feelings for Tyler as well.
It's just all conflicting, and sitting here on my bed, trying to finish off the last paragraph after I revised the last half because it seemed a bit too bias, and trying to balance my thoughts to focus on my topic. But how can you be fair when you might be in love with the boy you're writing it about? I haven't thought much on the possibility, quite simply because of the fight and this whole Tyler situation. But it's definitely a possibility, considering how I felt that night on the beach. It was, quite simply, one of the best nights of my life. I was happy, Tanner was happy, and the night was perfect. It's surprising how close you can feel to what your future could be. Like, if every night with Tanner was like that, romantic and just the feeling of being cared for, I couldn't imagine a life better than that. But I know that wouldn't happen, because every night won't be perfect.
That's the thing about relationships, none are perfect. They have their flaws, whether that's fighting or distrust or loyalty issues. We have to overlook those flaws and work through them, not around them. In Tanner and I's specific case, we have all of that. Well, he thinks we do, but in reality, we just fight... about disloyalty and distrust. So I suppose distrust is correct in some ways. We don't trust eachother, and the way to get around that is to talk it out, from my research on many of relationship blog posts that are most likely written by 14 year olds. But anyway, the main deal is that we need to talk, I agree with that. The thing is, I don't exactly want to talk to him. I want to stay in the daydream as long as I can, probably because no one wants to go back to reality. It's kind've like when you're in a dream the night before a school day and it's such a good dream and you just hear your alarm or your mom shouting your name to come down to get ready. You don't want to get up, obviously, and you care for that dream, you want to stay with it, but you know you have to get up eventually, no matter what you want to do. You'll do it eventually because that's the right thing to do
••A/N
Quick chapter, sorry y'all this week has been crazy, bear with me
