••A/N
Double Tanner POV chapters ah
••Tanner's POV
You'd probably expect for this whole situation to work out in the end, that I would end up with Taylor and that everything would turn out just fine for the both of us. Have a few kids, live in a beach house somewhere along the secluded coast, maybe buy a boat. It's a nice thought, something I've considered into detail lately, since the spare free time I've taken ahold of has given me. Laying on my back, my hands tucked behind my pillow, just staring at the blank ceiling, thinking of anything and everything.
The guy I punched, I still don't know his name, that was a mistake too. I shouldn't have acted on my anger, that's just stupid. That could've ended up on a cover of a magazine or even could land me in court, who knows. But if he touched taylor, I don't care what happens to me, I'd knock the guy senseless. That's not something I'd so easily let go, that's not okay with me. And I know it's selfish and protective but we haven't officially broke up, at least I don't think so. Taylor might say otherwise but she's got to understand that I made a stupid mistake, and I honestly have to tell her that. I also am going to have to make her choose, which I hate making her do, but I'm going to have to. I need to know where her priorities are, and if she chooses the other guy, I'll let her go. There's that saying again, if you love something, let it go, and as cheesy as that is, it's going to come into question if she doesn't choose me. I don't know if i have enough self control to just walk away though, to look her in the eye and know she's not in love with me like I am with her. And to leave her in the arms of another guy, who hasn't known her for half the time I have known her. Does he know her birthday or her favorite food or why she dips her French fries in her milkshake, or even why she always dressed up like a princess when going to birthday parties as a kid? Or does he know why she always plays with her hands while she's nervous?
This whole thing's my fault in the first place. If I had actually saw Taylor as the woman I see her as now back in Tennessee, this wouldn't have happened. If I hadn't overheard her conversation, we wouldn't be in a fight. And if I hadn't gone off on her guy-friend or whatever you want to call him, maybe I would've had the courage to go back to Taylor and to talk to her instead of waiting it out like a scaredy cat at his house. There's just so much pain, you know? And I'm alone with it all. There's no one to talk to, unless I want it on all the gossip magazines, and I'm not going to do that. When I think about, I don't have anyone I can trust in the industry, not even Quincy anymore. I lost my respect for him the moment Taylor opened my eyes about him. The only one I want to talk to is Taylor, which is the reason I stand up now, and drive myself recklessly over to her hotel as quickly as the limit allows.
I pull up with a screeching sound from my tires, and I catch a glimpse of Taylor's short blonde hair cutting through a couple businessmen as she walks from the hotel. Desperately, I weave my way around them, only focused on her in front of me, trying to keep up in the sudden rush of human traffic in my way.
Finally, my fingers catch hold of the fabric on her jacket and I pull, spinning her around to face me. Her initial shock turns to confusion quickly, and then switches to a certain type of resistance, the type the resembles rebellion, and she crosses her arms.
"Tanner, what are you doing here?" She stutters over her wording, obviously trying to get ahold of her voice to act calmer than she actually is. Her eyes search frantically around, as if to look for a way out, but I know there's none, I'd find her.
"We need to talk," I state.
"We can talk here," She says, constantly looking around me. With a roll of my eyes, I grab her shoulders and give a small shake, just enough to get her attention, and lock our eyes.
"We need to talk," I repeat, nodding once in confirmation. She pauses for a long moment before sighing and nods back towards the hotel, and I follow her in silence. But as soon as we step into the glass elevator, I start my speech I've rehearsed times and times over again.
"Taylor," I start, trying to build up my confidence slowly but she immediately butts in.
"I know what you did to Tyler, Tanner. I saw it and you're lucky I'm even giving you a chance to explain it right now. That's just low, even for you. It wasn't even like that,"
"Oh, really?" I force a fake laugh. "Because it looked like that to me. Tell me, Taylor, what exactly did you do up here? Did he give you something I didnt?"
Her face turns an obnoxiously bright red that I can't point out as embarrassment or anger but I ignore both and follow at her heels as she walks out at her floor.
"Nothing you should care about, we aren't dating!" She shouts. "And do you really think I'm the kind of person to sleep with someone the night after a breakup, because I'm not. I honestly thought you could find the difference between what you do after your breakups and mine."
She slides the key to her room and tosses her purse on the bed as she walks in.
"Just- can you listen to me a minute?"
She gives a long look back at me, and something softens behind her eyes, before she nods just slightly.
"I just need to know something, that's the only reason I came here. Because I've been waiting in my bed every night, waiting for you to come back, but you never did. And I just know you're with- Tyler, and that hurts but I just need to know," I pause, moving forward until we stand a breath between eachother. My hands go to my pockets as I do, and I take a breath. "Do you want me to fight for you?"
"What?"
"Do you want me to fight for you?" I repeat. "I know you like Tyler, and I know that we're not doing good right now, but if I have to, I'd fight for you. But not unless you want me to. You say the word and I won't bother you again."
"Tanner-"
I ignore her and continue. "But I guess if I love you, I should let you move on."
"Tanner, I love you too," She blurts out, her eyes closed for a moment. "It's just complicated. I'm overwhelmed, and I'm frankly worried about how you treat anyone who gets close to me. I understand you care about me but you can't go punching anyone who I happen to hang out with. Tyler is a good guy, and I do like him. My feelings are a mess and you know I get confused about them a lot, it's just that I have to sort through them. I need time for that, that's the best thing at the moment. And if that means space, I need it."
She pauses a moment and places her hands on my cheeks, holding my face slightly down to meet her eyes. "But thank you," She tilts upward and slightly presses our lips together, gentle at first, and then desperately, as if we haven't kissed in years, which is what it feels like. She slowly brings her lips just out of reach from mine, and smiles up at me, then holds onto my hand loosely as she walks backwards, slowly letting go and turning without a word, before disappearing out the door.
