Gerard Way is a Criminal

XII ~ Let Me Explain

Gerard kept up his pacing for a moment before starting his explanation. With every lap he completed I felt more and more anxious. I eventually got tired of watching him walk and glued my eyes to the door. Maybe when he's walking the other way I can make a run for it. Shoot, he has the keys though.

"Don't even think about it y/n." Gerard spoke up, noticing my sight directed at the door. I felt my cheeks heat up as I gazed down into my lap. How did this happen? How could I have not seen this coming? Relationships never work out for me... 

Gerard's footsteps sounded like they were approaching me so I stopped all plotting to escape, but kept my eyes down. The feeling of his finger under my chin, slowly lifting it up gave me chills. When my eyes met his all I wanted to do was break down in tears. I've told him numerous times that I love him, and him as well. Did he mean it? Did he really mean every kiss, every date, ever word?

He sighed as he closed his eyes for a moment, "Look, y/n. I know you're probably really confused, so I'm going to try my best to clear everything up for you okay?" He opened his eyes back up to look deep into mine. I tried my hardest to depict any sort of emotion behind them, but there seemed to be none. I've never seen Gerard so cold in my entirety of knowing him. Gerard had always been so warm and welcoming to me. Always comforting, but now he's nothing but the opposite. He looks like a true criminal.

"So you aren't even going to respond to me? It's gonna be like this?" 

"I-I just.... I just don't know w-what to say." I replied in a hushed tone. Before I dropped my eyes, I saw something soften in his. Though it was only for a brief moment, I think the fear in my voice broke him.

"Just...*sigh* just listen to what I have to say. 

"When Mikey and I were a bit younger, like high school graduates, we had no clue what we wanted to do. I had graduated a few years ahead of him and was already in college when he graduated high school. In attempts to find a life for himself, Mikey got mixed in with the wrong people.

"These people were gang members who showed absolutely no mercy to anyone. Especially a young guy like Mikey. So Mikey ended up owing these guys some money that he didn't have. I love my little brother to death and would do anything to save him. So I did everything I could do to get him this money. It started as pick-pocketing, then taking tips off of tables in restaurants. Gradually I started moving up and robbing places. When that wasn't enough, I forced myself to be sold to people. I'd never do that y/n, but I needed to save Mikey. So I let myself be scared for life just to get some money. I eventually dropped out of college seeing that it'd be pointless if I got caught. 

"When I had gotten Mikey all the money he needed, I didn't know what else to do. No where would hire a college dropout with a criminal history. I went back to doing the only thing I knew how to do. I would jump from city to city, staying in motels and robbing the closest stores. I was able to live off of this. Not comfortably, but I was living.

"Then I got a phone call from Mikey. He needed money, badly. He told me that if he didn't get it in two months then he'd be dead. I panicked. I had already been living in an apartment here in Jersey and was doing decent. But to hell if you think that I'd let my brother die.

"Bet then I met you. And when I first met you, I decided that you'd be a big help in my plan. I'd be able to throw you off track, and use you to cover up mine. But then you threw a wrench in my plan by making me fall in love with you. You made me want to give up this life and start a new one with you. But Mikey needs this money, and I have it all. Which is why I'm leaving tomorrow for Los Angeles."

I stared up at Gerard, trying my hardest to process everything that he had just said. So he's a bad guy, with a good motive. I felt bad for him when it came to Mikey, but it went away when he told me where I came into play. He didn't really want to date me? He was just using me.

"I know it's a lot to take in, but you have to give me some sort of response y/n." Gerard said almost pleading. I let my eyes meet his once again. This was a mistake because the second I saw his hazel eyes, I was hit with a wave of emotions.

"I.......you.......fuck." I whispered. Gerard chuckled, which made me realize what emotion was the strongest right now, "You think this is funny?"

Gerard seemed taken aback by my snap. He shook his head, "Not really no."

"You used me! Do you realize how in love I was with you!? Gerard I loved you so much and you didn't feel a thing, did you? All those times you wanted to help me de-stress by not thinking about the case, it was just to get me off your tail? Gerard what the fuck!" I stood up, infuriated. Gerard was quick to follow me up and proceeded to grab a hold of me.

"Let me go!" I thrashed around in his grip, only making him hold onto me tighter.

"Y/n look at me." Gerard demanded in a strong voice. If it weren't for our current circumstances, I'd be turned on by it.

"I was in love with you Gerard." I whispered, calming down in his grasp. Gerard seemed hurt.

"Was?" He asked softly. Gerard seemed genuinely hurt by me using past tense. "You can stop loving me just like that?"

"You didn't even love me Gerard." I shook my head, trying so damn hard to keep the tears from falling.

"Bullshit I didn't. You really think I would've stuck around this long if I didn't truly love you?"

"I don't even know who you are Gerard, if that's even your real name." I squinted at him. Gerard rolled his eyes.

"Yes y/n, that's my real name." He replied, slightly annoyed.

"There's no way I'm just letting you leave like this. I have to turn you in." I told him. Gerard's grip on me tightened causing me to slightly wince in pain.

"No, you don't." He told me, gaze hardening.

"It's my job. If you think I'm just gonna let you run off to Los Angeles then you are rudely mistaken." 

"I had a feeling you would say that, which is why you're coming with me."