Boundless

제 16 장

    I bite my lips and I sighed deeply. My eyes are closed tightly, and my heart is pounding hard, it felt like rocks were ricocheting inside of my chest wall. How could I have been so reckless. I was the only one to blame. I was so nervous, that if this truth were false , that I would not be relieved but afraid that there is something wrong and possibly running out of time to do something about it.

I released my lips, as my phone's set timer goes off. Hesitantly, and quiet slowly I open my eyes and I looked at the test in my hands.

Pregnant

I gasped loudly and my eyes widened in my shock. I feel like all the air escapes my lungs. I truly did forget, that day I told Jae I would take birth control. Birth control usually delays my period, I didn't realize it had been this. I choked on my tears, and they came down like the sky had been falling. I wasn't ready, I was suddenly so scared. I bit down on my lips and sobbed softly.

I was also very happy.

I couldn't tell Jae yet. If I could I'd keep it from him, until he was ready. I'd hide it until I wanted him to know about it. It was selfish, but I didn't know how Jae would react. Had it been anyone else, I would have told them immediately, my this is my Jae, and I would do anything to make sure that he's happy. I would first confirm it at the hospital. I wanted to find out how far along I had become and if I was completely healthy.

I cleaned up everything and I hid my pregnancy test. I took a shower and I stood in front of the mirror. I looked at my wide hips, and the slight dip in my breast. My stomach wasn't flat as usual, but I wasn't showing either. I cheered internally and smiled widely. I shouldn't have been so happy, it was I who lectured Jae about moving to fast. I put on my purple and black negligee and I looked at the time.

Jae would be home in only an hour.

I grew nervous. I wasn't going to tell him, and my symptoms are pretty abnormal, what if he forces me to go to the hospital? What if his father finds out? What if they reject my baby? What if his mom knows? She would be so happy. All these questions roamed in my head. I knew I would be a great mother, and I would love my son or daughter dearly. As it goes, I would put my baby above everything in the world.

I probably wouldn't wait long to tell him. I would perhaps wait a week or two. Maybe I would, perhaps I should've told him I suspected and we'd find out together. I start teaching next week, maybe I would tell him then.

      •.                          •.                     •

      " You are home" I say shyly and he scoops me up, kissing my lips sweetly. " I missed you so much" He tells me, bringing me over to the sofa. I sit on his lap. " I missed you too" I didn't look into his eyes. " What are you hungry for? Let's order in, I could eat sushi" He suggests and I gagged. " I can't eat raw fish right now" I say shaking my head. He furrowed his eyebrows with a smile and brought his hands up my silky material of my short gown. " You love sushi though, you ate it like crazy when we first dated" he says and I nodded in agreement.

  " But I am really not in the mood for sushi. What about we have pork belly and kimchi stew?" I say rotating my hips on his lap, he chuckles. " That would be fine, but it'll take a little while, it's a good 30 minutes from here to order from" He says and I shrug. " That's ok, I'll be fine, as long as we don't have fish. I can't stomach fish right now" I explain.

" Still not feeling better? Let's just order and watch a movie. We can take it easy tonight" I nodded to this and I got off his lap. He looks at my outfit. He looks up at me bitting his lips. He lifts my negligee with a single finger and inspecting the bright pink panties I wore. I slapped his hand. " You have become, quite the pervert" He laughs at this and stands up. He goes in our room and I hear him turn on the shower.

" When will you be bringing your things over?" He asks me in a yell from in the bathroom. I walk into the bedroom and lays on the bed , turning the T.V on. " Maybe sometime this week" I tell him and he says nothing. " What do you want to watch? Hurry, so that we can order in the meantime." I yelled. No reply.

" Do you hear me?"

Suddenly the shower turns off. That was quick. Jae opens the bathroom door with the most puzzled expression ever. He was shirtless, wearing only his slacks. He looked nervous, even a little worried.

" What?"

He holds up a box.

" Are you pregnant?" I choke and broke into a fit of coughing and I pounded on my chest. He stares at me patiently waiting for my reply, his chest heaved up and down heavily. " I don't know for sure" I lied and he runs his hands through his hair shocked. He walks over to the dresser and pulls out a drawer and looks for a shirt perhaps, but that was the wrong drawer. " Wait, Jae those are my cl——

——My pregnancy test fell out and my words break. Jae holds up the test, and reads it. He turns to me, disbelief in his eyes. " You don't know for sure? This isn't for sure?" I bite my lips. He sighs loudly and throws on a white t-shirt from on top of the drawer.

" Get dressed, we are going to the hospital"