Not On Her List

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Cj Barton

"You know you're holding the scalpel wrong, right?" I say, leaning in and watching what Spivot is doing intently.

"Yeah. Cj's right," Adrian says, leaning in too, watching Spivot's hands with great concern. "I mean, move your fingers a little bit down the scalpel."

Suddenly she stops what she's doing and slams the scalpel down on the table.

"Alright, Mr Adrian I-know-it-all and Mr Cj Better-than-the-best, how about you both show me how to hold the scalpel perfectly," she says, glaring at both of us and crossing her arms across her chest.

Adrian chuckles. I can't help smiling at the frustrated look on her face.

"How did I even get stuck with you two jerks. All you both do is correct. I don't even have my own breathing space anymore. And it's because of all that leaning in and breathing on my neck. You both are so annoying. It's always 'Hillary make sure you don't burst a vital organ. Make sure you hold the scalpel right. Make sure you don't cut yourself. How about you guys do the work yourselves and let's all find out how..."

She's yammering on and on and I'm pretty sure from the look on Adrian's face she's lost him.

Of course she would. Who can keep up with that nagging?

She's still talking when I sigh and pick up the scalpel.

Gee, girls do talk a lot.

"Watch closely Spivot," I say, interrupting her and bending over the dead piglet. "You might just learn a few things."

"Let's all give a standing ovation. Mr Cj Better-than-the-best has decided to show us just how good he is," she says, her arms still crossed across her chest.

Adrian begins to clap and hoot (his version of a standing ovation). I roll my eyes.

"Goldfield!" Miss Blum screeches from across the classroom, "what's all the noise for? You want another visit to Mrs Clinton?"

Adrian stops the clapping immediately and pretends to focus on the dead piglet.

"You know this stuff, man?" Adrian asks.
"Yeah. At least some of it," I mutter as I pick up from where Spivot stopped on the piglet, which is pretty much nothing.

I'm focused on the piglet now. Barely aware of the others, yelling and complaining about how they can't stand to touch the "gross, mucky, dead piglet".

Miss Blum approaches our group occasionally, then leaves with a nod. Always.

When I'm done dissecting and opening up the piglet I drop the scalpel.

"Now, Spivot, I'm pretty sure you know the drills. You remove the unwanted organs," I say, looking at her.

I notice her wrinkle her face for about a second and a half then she uncrosses her arms and looks over to Adrian.

"How about Mr Adrian I-know-it-all do the rest of the work. He looks very eager anyway," she says, still looking at Adrian.

"That's really great, Ary. Honest, it is. Trust me, I would have done it, but then, the rules are, you and only you have the right to finish up the rest of the work. Frankly, this case has been fought in the law court for years," Adrian says.

I smile. Adrian. Always the sarcastic guy.

"And what Adrian has just stated is a fact Spivot. An utterly, undeniable fact," I add, still smiling.