P S Y C H O •zuckles•

2.2

⚠️SENSITIVE TOPICS⚠️

Once Cameron and I touched land we booked it to his car. We didn't even try to put the bags in the car safely or neatly we just threw them in the back. Cam started the car and immediately drove to Hope County Hospital.

He barely parked correctly but we didn't care, we rushed to the entrance making everyone look at us but the lady behind the desk wasn't surprised.  "May I help you?" She asks "my... mom... Alice.... Kline" I was out of breathe and she starts typing in her computer then stops. "Uh ma'am she-" "Phoenix come with me" I turn to see my mothers doctor, Dr. Fuser, he's always been her doctor since my father passed.

Cameron and I walk with him to his office and he sits down. "Have a seat" he points to the chairs in front of his desk. "Jack what happened with my mom?" I asked as Cam and I both sit down.

Dr. Fuser takes his glasses off and cleans them with his coat "while you were away your mother had a seizure while cooking it seems and she had a bad fall spilling boiling water all over her body" he didn't even sugar coat it, but he never does we've been with this doctor for over ten years so he knows what I need to hear and what needs to be kept a secret and I always respect what is kept secret.

"Is she okay?" Cameron asked with his eyes wide open.

He sighed pushing his glasses back on with one finger and folds his hands back together looking at me "Phoenix I'm sorry but your mother passed away at 2:30 this morning" my heart dropped along with my stomach and any organ or blood cell in my body.

This wasn't true.

This wasn't happening.

She isn't dead.

"She wasn't getting enough oxygen or blood flow to her brain and with her condition before I didn't know if she was going to make it after the accident. But we tried out best." He even wipes his eyes from tears.

Me?

I just sat there staring into space not believing a word he said. He's lying because my moms at home right now waiting for Cam and I to visit. "Phoenix... lets go" Cameron was even quiet. He grabbed my hand and I just stood up slowly as we both walked out.

My head and body were light and I felt as if I was going to pass out, I just tried putting more weight on Cameron which he didn't seemed to mind.

We made it back to his poorly parked car and he helped me inside. He made his way around to the drivers side and started the car.

The car ride was silent. I didn't want to speak, I felt like I didn't know how.

I know Cameron is beyond upset too.

But he's trying to be tough for me but it's only making it worse.

We parked outside the apartment complex and he got out and came to my side opening the door. I did nothing but sit there and stare at the glove compartment box. He sighed and scooped me up bridal style and walked into the building. He didn't have an issue carrying me since I weighed nothing, the only issue was getting his keys out to open the door.

Once inside he closes the door behind him and lays me on the couch. He lifts my head and sits down laying my head back down on his legs. He runs his fingers through my hair and I just lay there starring at the ceiling.

"Phoenix..." He looks down at me and I looked back at him. When I looked at him that's when I felt the need to cry but I didn't let myself "I'm sorry... you do know I will always be here for you." He says and I just wanted to cry even more but I didn't. "You can come to Australia and live with me. I'll take care of you." He goes on and I just stare back at the ceiling.

I didn't want to go to Australia, he's there and it seems every time I go to another place or continent someone I love always leaves.

I knew I wanted to stay here in New Zealand but I would be alone. By myself.

Not saying anything I just get up and head to the bathroom and close the door. I sit on the floor and put my head in my hands and start crying as silently as possibly. I didn't want Cameron to hear me, I didn't want to bother him.

I finally stood up and looked at myself in the mirror.

My hair was still a mess from the plane ride and my face was now puffy and red from crying with mascara streaming and smeared everywhere along my face.

I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the first thing I seen. ibuprofen.

My body didn't even feel like I was controlling it anymore.

Worthless.

I closed the cabinet door and looked at myself again.

Ugly.

I looked down at the bottle and felt tears stream down my face.

Do it.

I placed my hand over the lid and tried twisting it. It never budged.

Do It.

I started to get more frustrated, I tried pressing down and twisting the cap but it never opened.

DO IT.

The palm of my hand was now going numb and breaking skin from twisting so hard, I was now crying a bit from frustration.

There was a knock on the door and someone said something but I couldn't hear them. I blocked it out so it just sounded muffled and far away. I didn't care about anything else.

I was still trying to open the bottle when the door busted open and the bottle was trying to be taken from me. I tried pulling it back but the pill bottle broke open and pills flung everywhere.

I looked up to see Cam who was red puffy eyes like me from crying as tears streamed down his face "look at what you have done!" I screamed at him and he pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly and I broke down crying into his chest once again.

"Please don't do this" he whimpered and grabs the sides of my face staring at me.

He pressed his lips against mine and I was taken back by surprise.

Not because he did it but because I felt nothing during the kiss. For someone who has like him as long as I did and always dreamed of this moment, it just felt wrong doing this.

He pulls back and even he looked surprised "I- I'm sorry" he says and I just stood there starring.

We just hugged again and sat on the bathroom floor for what felt like forever.

Cameron decided to sleep with me tonight because he didn't like the idea of me being by myself.

I didn't care.

I didn't care about anything at this point.

I lost someone that I adored to some whore and I lost my mom to a sickness she's been trying to fight all my life.

Everyone's going to leave eventually.