P S Y C H O •zuckles•

2.4

"What's the matter Phoenix?" Hayden sighed setting his pen down and looking at me. I raise my head to meet with his eyes, "what do you mean?" I furrowed my eyebrows setting the last file in the cabinet and shutting it tight. "Phoenix your posture has been pejorative, you walk as though your mood has petered down, and i can tell you haven't torpidity after dark" he rambles on and I was completely lost.

He noticed my face and sighed again standing up, he walked towards me and placed both hands on my shoulders "You walk with you head low, you didn't even say 'hi' to me and when you did speak I could tell you were upset, let alone you look like you haven't slept in forever. I apologize for being very literate but I'm worried about you even if I am your boss" I smiled a bit knowing he cared.

I haven't talked to anyone about my problems since Cam left and that really is taking a toll on me. Hayden sat me down and he went back to his desk leaning back staring at me.

At that point I let it all out, he didn't care that i was sobbing or crying. He just kept nodding and listened, never cutting me off. Once I was finished telling him what happened beginning to end he still took a moment to gather his thoughts. "Well that is dreadful, I haven't been in a relationship in years I just tend to.... hook up with certain people. But from writer to employer I think he does have some sort of attachment to you." He says and I just bit my cheek "I wouldn't say he loves you because no one loves a person and then cheats on them but from the sounds of it you loved him and you still do" Hayden was twirling his pen around his fingers and I was playing with mine.

I did still love Mason.

Those feeling I can not deny.

"I believe in second chances, but it's your choice" He shrugs and collects my stuff handing it to me. "I will see you Tuesday Miss. Henry" He waves goodbye as I leave his office then out the door.

Talking to him did make me feel better, but as I got closer to my apartment I just felt my depression get worse again. I thanked Garreth and made my way inside.

Of course Mason was still there and when he seen me he instantly ran over to me but I ignored every single thing he said as I unlocked my door. I stepped inside and once I did he stopped yapping, I held the door open and looked at him.

He looked at me confused "Are you going to come in or not?" I say and he quickly hops in and I shut my door locking it once again. "Thank you for letting me in. Please I need to talk to you just listen" he begged which made no sense cause I didn't let him in for no reason.

I sat my stuff down on the couch and let my hair down from the pony tail "let me clean up then you can" I walk to my bedroom and undress into some sweatpants and a tank top. I washed my face from any makeup I had on from work.

When I came back out to the living room he looked at me and smiled a bit. Sitting down on the couch I point to the other side of it and he sits down there.

"Speak." I didn't want to show any sign of weakness or any sign of emotion I want to show him that i'm not messing around.

He sighed as if he was about to cry "I miss you   I miss the sound of your laugh—carefree and light, Like a favorite song I hadn't heard in awhile. I miss your smile, beaming brighter than a thousand suns... Lighting up the darkest of places,  Infectious in its intensity  I miss the feel of your lips on mine perfect and full You were the only person who ever made me feel safe, the only person I ever opened my heart to. You made me feel things so deeply, it was like living my life in black and white but then when you came around the world took on a whole new depth of color. You were the only person I ever felt that way about, the only person I ever loved, and you will always be the only person I ever loved with my whole entire heart. I understand if you hate me with your entire being but I can not live with out you..." He was crying but I don't think he noticed.

I was crying too, I didn't notice till now.

"I hate what you did to me because you gave me hope that not everyone is an asshat and that I can trust in someone other than Cam. I lost my dad, my mom, I lost you..." I felt myself choke up "You were my everything... I honestly thought I meant everything to you as well." I folded my arms across my chest and sighed whipping away some tears "you do mean everything to me" - "Mason if you loved me like you said, if you cared about me like you said, if I meant everything to you like you said... you wouldn't of done that. Am I wrong?" I asked and he said nothing but nod in response.

Sighing, I rubbed my eyes and sniffled. "My old room is now the spare bedroom. You can stay there." It was getting late and I had to work tomorrow so I was making my way to my bedroom when Mason stopped me "You're letting me stay here?" He has hope in his eyes and I tugged my arm back from his hand "From the looks of it, you have no clothes with you, you don't even have your wallet, I'm surprised you even got here." I say walking into my room then shutting the door behind me.

I picked up my phone and dialed Cam.

"Hello?"

"Did you know Mason was
coming here??"

"Kinda, when I went to
the guys house he wasn't there
and they said he was gonna see
you"

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I thought you'd already know"

I groaned slamming myself onto my bed.

"Okay well what should  I do?"

"I don't really know it's your
choice. I just want you happy,
you know I only want what's best for you"

He's like a dad, it's annoying at times but I know he's trying his best.

"Okay I have work tomorrow, thanks
for talking"

"No problem, love you phinny sleep well"

We hung up and I plugged my phone in snuggling under my sheets. I could hear Mason in my room, he was crying and it broke my heart.

I still love him, I know I do. Even though he broke me I feel bad that he feels broken himself. I hate falling in love...