Chapter Thirteen

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After dad and I's talk, I decided it was time for Lannan to meet one final person. I had spent the last two days wondering just how I would do it. What would I even say?

Lannan and I had been driving for about twenty minutes when i asked him to pull over. He raised his eyebrows, but pulled the car over to a safe spot. We were parked by the river in the far lane. He turned the car off and glanced at me.

"What exactly are we doing? You aren't gonna kill me and throw me in the river, right?" I rolled my eyes and nudged his elbow.

"Come on." I got out of the car and crossed over the first barrier to be closer to the water. Finally I climbed over the second barrier, standing carefully on the rocks, watching the water crash into them and return back into itself. I heard Lannan mutter something under his breath as he climbed over the barrier to stand next to me.

"You're crazy, woman." He said laughing. "So what are we doing here?" I leaned towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"My mom was never buried. We only spread her ashes in a place she loved, this exact spot." I pointed to a strip of pink spray paint on the barrier. "I made it so I would always know. This was the last spot I was able to be in her physical presence. This is the closest I could get you to meeting her." Lannan pressed a kiss to the top of my head and hugged me just a little bit tighter. "I know I talk about her a lot, but I'm scared that if I stop, I'll forget her."

"Babe, it doesn't bother me that you talk about her. You listen to me rant about Fortnite day in and day out, never complaining once. You brought me here, to the place that I can only assume means more than the world to you. This means a lot to me." He sat down on one of the rocks and motioned for me to sit as well. "Let's talk to her." I giggled and sat next to him. "My name is Lannan. I don't have the greatest job in the world, but I plan to make your daughter the happiest I can. You raised a wonderful girl. I only hope you would approve of me." I rested my head on his shoulder and continued to listen to him "speak" to my mom. Finally he turned his head to me. "What was the last conversation you had with your mom?" I sat up and thought for a moment.

     "It was about something someone had told me." I paused, thinking of the right way to word it. "I was talking to someone about what was happening. I was freaking out, I didn't want to lose my mom. And they told me that I had my whole life to freak out about this, why would I do it in front of her?" He nodded. "So I told her that I was sorry for not spending a lot of time with her. I was sorry for being so distant and focusing on my relationship more than her. And i forgot to tell her that I loved her. So sometimes I wonder did she know how much I love her? Or did she pass away thinking I didn't?" Lannan nudged my elbow and gave me a look.

     "Don't do that to yourself, babe. She knew. Just like you know how much she loves you." A smile broke out onto his face and he nudged my shoulder with his. "Can't wait for you to meet mama lazar." I rolled my eyes.

     "What if she doesn't like me?" Lannan scoffed. "I'm serious!"

      "I know she will love you. She's just that kind of person. It'll be the first time i introduce someone to her who doesn't already know who she is."

     "Do you have pictures of your family? I'd love to see some." Lannan pulled his phone out of his pocket and went to his gallery. He began scrolling through them. He stopped on one picture that was of him and three other people. "That's Tannar, right?"he nodded. 

     "These are my other two brothers. I'll introduce you to them once you visit." He continued scrolling and stopped on a picture of him and older couple. "This is my mom and dad. You'll love them." We sat by the water and talked about our families for awhile before deciding to head back to my house.

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