Say It

seventeen

friday night | la

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Today was emotionally draining. I really hated funerals. Mostly because no one tells you how to move on afterwards. They just assume you know and expect you to do it.

After Shiloh's funeral, I stayed in my bed for two weeks. It would have been longer, but I still had to live.

But, it's like you have to re-learn how to do just that: live.

"Nia."

I jumped at the sound of Papa's voice and turned to look at him. He looked at me with a hint of concern on his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded almost too fast. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"Why are you holding that knife so tight?" He pointed to the knife that I had in my hand.

I hadn't even noticed that I had possession of it, let alone clutching it. Slowly, I sat it on the island and shrugged lightly. "I don't know."

Papa placed his hand on my shoulder. "We can meet Jace in the morning if you want. I know today was alot."

"No." I shook my head. "I'm fine."

He didn't seem convinced. "Are you sure?" He asked with a lifted brow.

I nodded. "Yes."

"Good because Bryce is coming."

I widened my eyes. "Really? Oh, God."

Papa chuckled a little. "He said he wanted to meet him too. He's going to DC in the morning."

"Why couldn't he leave tonight?" I murmured lowly to myself.

"I'm sure he'll behave." Papa attempted to reassure me.

I shrugged a little. "I would like to see it."

"Bryce is light compared to Amir and Messiah."

I nodded immediately. "Point made. Please tell me that my mom didn't invite them." I crossed my fingers.

"She did." He said causing me to sigh. "But, they declined. They wanted to meet him by themselves." Papa smirked.

"Not a chance."

Papa placed his arm around my shoulders and walked me back to living room. "Does this young man have a car?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I bought him one." Papa stopped and looked at me as if I'd lost all my marbles. "Kidding." I halfheartedly laughed.

"Don't play like that." He said.

"He doesn't have a car, though. He insisted that he'd get here on his own and that he didn't want me to pick him up." I admitted.

Papa nodded. "He's a man. I understand."

"Men and their egos." I rolled my eyes.

"At least we're not emotional." Chase said as he came down the staircase. "Like women."

"Don't start anything you can't finish my guy." Papa looked at him.

I looked at Chase. "So, you don't think men are emotional?"

Chase shook his head no. "We're more logical. We think."

"Ha!" Jamila shouted. "That's the best joke you ever said."

"Period pooh." My mom added.

Jamila and I looked at her simultaneously in embarrassment. "Mommy, please don't ever say that again." Jamila said.