Chapter 18 - Ethan

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I was concerned.

Two hours.

She had stared at the tombstone for two hours. Hardly blinking, her expression never changing. I finally pulled her up and led her to the SUV. Even after I put her in the seat, buckled the belt over her and shut the door, she didnt speak. And the whole ride back was torture for me. I would glance at her frequently, hoping each time her trance would break. She would return as the Haven I knew and loved. But hoping was no use. It didnt happen. She stared out the window until we pulled into her drive.

I thought I would have to help her into the house as well but she surprised me. Quickly unbuckling her belt, she slid out and slammed the door before I could even put the Rover in park. My nerves screamed. Something was wrong. Very wrong. And it wasnt going to be good for me.

She was at the door with her keys before I could hit the sidewalk. I sprinted to her, catching her as she tried to turn the handle. "Haven?" I asked breathlessly.

But she didnt turn around. She froze, staring at the handle. "Haven," I said again, "talk to me. What's wrong?"

I saw her inhale deeply. "I dont want to see you anymore," she said softly. I blinked, taken aback. "Wha-" Did I just hear what I thought I did? Surely not. No. No way. "I'm sorry?" I asked, thoroughly confused. My heart felt tight within my chest. My mouth was dry.

"I dont want to see you anymore... Ethan." She said louder now. My heart dropped. She had said it. I didnt imagine it. And she was serious. Dead serious. I turned her around, my hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at me. But she didnt. She wouldnt. She hung her head, staring at her feet. "You dont really mean that," I realized too late that the tone of my words sounded more like a question than a statement.

Her eyes made contact with me then. My heart broke. For the first time ever, since her eyes had first met mine, she had a cold, indifferent gaze. Directed at me. I felt the panic rise within my chest. My vision started to blur. What had I done? I didnt understand. Everything had been great today. Had I wrongly assumed the cemetery would be good for her? Cathartic? Had I pushed her too hard? When she had first realized what was happening, she appeared thankful. Touched. But now... "Please dont do this," I whined.

She looked away from me. Oh, hell no! I wasnt about to let this go. We needed to talk. I needed to know where her train of thought was going. I had to know what horrible mistake I made that caused her to look at me with such distain. I needed to know so that I could prevent it from ever happening again.

Placing a hand on each side of her face, I brought her eyes to mine, "I love you, Haven. Please. I know you feel the same! Dont. Do. This, " I begged. If that's what it would take I would forever be on my knees. I felt the tears roll down my cheek, betraying my manliness. But I didnt care. I would cry a river if it would bring her back to me. I wasnt the least bit ashamed. Whatever it took, I would do it.

Her eyes flickered. For a split second I thought maybe I had gotten through to her. But she pushed my hands away, returning to the handle, "Dont contact me." She said as she disappeared through the door, slamming it in my face.

It took me a second to break out of my shock, realizing she was done listening to me. No! No, I wouldnt let this happen. I refuse to accept this! "HAVEN!" I yelled as I banged on the door. But it was no use. I dont know how long I stood there, knocking on her door until the intensity of my knocks slowly started to loose their force. I leaned my forehead against the door. It was cold upon my heated face. Cold, just like her eyes. "Haven?" I whimpered as one last attempt to talk to her. To see her. But hope quickly dissipated as my pleas fell upon deaf ears.

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