You Are Most Welcome Alpha

ll੨੬ll I Never...

I should've worn that short maroon dress damnit, I sighed inwardly. Or maybe even that shorter romper, although it does expose my thighs. Greysan would like that, right?

Oh no no no no, I scold myself. "He'd tell me to be how I am."

Scared and timid, not modest. A prune in conclusion.

I saw my long flowing dress of softest ivory as the epitome of my anxiety. It's been like a restless beast, ripping at my rib cage from beneath. The dress was nice, long, lacy and mildly high low to show the ankles and heels, with beautiful lacy sleeves to my elbows. The sheer fabric was gathered at my collar, covered with translucent lace from above the chest as was my back. My long hair luckily covered the buttoned down back. I wore creme ballet flats and my hair down in natural swaying waves.

I'm so selfish, a voice said the back of my head.

With the train of my gown sweeping behind me and fingers digging into my palm, I nimbly made myself walk the hall and down the staircase to where I knew Greysan awaited. It too quite an effort for the girls to leave us alone. Ren and Tess had to take them out for dinner, assuring we wouldn't be together. They promised to have guards separating us; terrible however, that the guards had to catch a sudden raging case of diarrhea.

Seeing him dressed in a crisp shirt, rolled sleeves, with a vest and matching trousers brought me back to my earlier thoughts. Prune, selfish, ugly.

"Very..s-sah-nee," Greysan stuttered questionably, trying to keep the sticky note from shaking in his hands.

I was quick to rise an eyebrow. "That's a very admirable attempt Greysan. Maybe, try to pronounce the O-sound in soh as a long O like sew, or row."

"So, sōh-nee?" He asked.

"Yes," I chirp, with a grin. "Sohni. You look very sohna yourself."

Greysan looked anew. We exchanged compliments, me having to explaining the difference in basic femininity and masculinity when choosing words. He was walking me to his car outside under the starry lights, being sure to repeat key details from what I was saying even when opening and closing the door behind me.

"You look both flattering and regal, but yet sexy. White suits you," Greysan remarked after awhile of driving in silence. Maybe the radio didn't make it fully quiet but it was more of a background noise, a distraction.

I hoped he couldn't see my fingernails beginning to dig into my forearm from in the dark. It was a habit of both choice and not, a compulsion I developed whenever I found myself in situations I felt awkward and couldn't find my words. Usually I'd feel lightheaded, or lost of my breathe in these sort of times, but hadn't experienced it so far -which was a good sign. Anxiety always was my fickle friend for the obvious. To seem grateful I gave Greysan another tentative smile, one I made sure he saw.

Turns out, Greysan wasn't kidding the other day. He had indeed brought us to McDonalds for our date night, secluded with a dense forest in the surrounding. It wasn't a privately isolated one but rather one lit from the inside with kids playing in the play area. "I thought if I were to reserve a McDonald's, why not have the local kids join us? I try my best to refer to them as orphans because no one deserves to be called that. I really hope you don't mind it."