Love, Death and Vodka | A FEATURED STORY

Chapter 18

She pushed open the apartment door to be hit with a pleasant smell of roasted cashews, raisins, clarified butter and ground cardamom. She walked to the kitchen to find Arjun cooking there. He turned around and gave her that intimate smile.

She thought her heart would burst with the love for this man. She smiled back and hugged him closely. She peeped around him to find fine vermicelli being cooked in milk in a sauce pan. She titled her head and cocked her brow questioningly. 

"Happy Birthday sweetheart. I'm making payasam for you."

"Thanks Arjun. Payasam? Why? You already got me a cake and I cut it last night. Have you forgotten?"

Arjun shook his head and added mischievously, "Nope, I even remember the love making with all the cake in delicious places."

"Arjun!! Please!" she made a choking noise and playfully pushed him.

But he held her, "As for the payasam. My mother makes it on everybody's birthday at home. She says payasam is tradition. I just wanted to make it for you sweetheart. Don't you think it's much more romantic?"

"hmm hmm it is. My mother also makes it without fail. Is it ready? Its tempting Arjun. I can hardly wait to taste it."

Arjun gave a full throaty laugh which always made her heart sing, "No not yet sweetheart, I need to add the sugar and these roasted nuts."

He turned around and added those. He brought it to a boil and turned off the stove. He left the pan on the table and under the fan to cool the dessert.

"Now we need to wait until it cools down," Tanvi whined.

"Not necessarily. I remember we still have some cake left in the fridge. I can think of several other places which need special cake treatment."

Tanvi laughed and moved away from Arjun's grasp. He made short work of the distance between them and pulled her to the couch. He kissed her passionately and made love to her as promised.

Her hands trembled, when the dream like memories of her first birthday with Arjun and his delicious payasam rushed into her mind. She couldn't bear it any longer. She dumped the sweet dish into the kitchen sink and hurried to the washroom.

She turned on the shower and sat down as jets of cold water drenched her and covered her warm tears. This 'Arjun hangover' was killing her. Her drunken stupor, though helped her, was not sufficient. Arjun's memories were very powerful. She could get lost for hours and hours just by thinking about him. And she was bloody angry with her weakness for him.

He ruined her for others. Any move towards another guy, made her compare that person with Arjun and she rejected that person immediately. She couldn't understand why Arjun became a demi-God to her now. He was after all a human and all humans had flaws.

Then she realised that it was not Arjun, it was the bond that she had shared with him ― it was a benchmark which was irreplaceable. She had to forget that relationship to move on. 

Forgetting was something she was not happy in doing. She loved Arjun even now.He was everything a man could ever be. 

Who could replace him? As far as she knew, none. What if she accepted a different man in his place? Would she be cheating her love for him? She couldn't do that. Her stomach churned and she felt nauseous when she thought of any other man touching her.

"You, asshole. I can hardly live now. How could you just ruin me like this?" She cried bitterly.

That night, she had no mood to drink. She took a sip of her scalding green tea. She resolved to push her drinking to the weekends and on Sunday evenings, she planned to drink only green tea to stay sober the entire week. Whatever be it, she took her work seriously.