Love, Death and Vodka | A FEATURED STORY

Chapter 20

Sanjay was a good guy and she could feel he was sincere, "Sanjay, I recently lost the most important person in my life. I love him even now and guess forever. I'm trying to move on. But nothing is working out. He was everything to me. We were inseparable till his death. He died in a road accident. He was here today and the next day he wasn't. I just couldn't...still cannot believe it. No one here knows about any of it. Now you know. I hope it stays only with you. I don't like discussing about it to anyone, even with you."

Sanjay was taken aback. He did not expect this kind of a reply. He was not sure why Tanvi revealed the truth to him. He wanted to add something to sooth her pain, "I'm sorry Tanvi. I truly am. I'm very ashamed of the way some of the team is treating you. I knew something was not right with you. But this is very depressing. I'm not sure if I'm the right person to say this. You know, you have a long life to live? I just hope you come out of this eventually because it's very difficult to live alone with someone's memories. My mom is a living example of this. My dad passed away when I was a kid because of some accident. She is just surviving, that's all. I see her sometimes crying when she thinks I'm not around. Theirs' was a love marriage. A few years back, there was no choice for widowed mothers than to stay alone. But now things have changed. I hope you find someone." That was the most Sanjay ever spoke to her since they met in this project.

She was right in her assessment of him. He was a kind and a genuine person. She was happy that she spoke to him today. She looked up at him, "I'm trying my level best Sanjay. I'm trying...It's not easy." 

He took a deep breath and impulsively squeezed her hand. She did not bother about his kind gesture. She knew it was out of pity. She did not like to be pitied and the uneasiness when some other guy touched her returned. She slowly drew her hand back.

Both fell silent. Her mind kept turning back to her drawing. Camp fire, midnight and oil somehow reminded her of her first ever outing with Arjun in SMEI campus. Her eyes fogged and she blinked repeatedly to keep herself from crying.

She could still feel the cool breeze of the night and hear the swigging sounds of the lake. Arjun and she were very relaxed that day. She felt that they were united in some way then. It was as though, they were in a huge bubble and held together in that space. She was certain Arjun felt the same too.

All of a sudden, he broke the spell by wishing to get back to the campus. Now she understood his reasons. What he did not know and would never know was her desire for him, at that very moment. She wanted to kiss him passionately. She felt very ashamed for such feelings later. But that was that. She was reminiscing that night when Sanjay shook her hand. She jolted back to reality to hear their names being announced as winners.

After the indoor games, lunch was brought into the banquet hall. Tanvi found to her satisfaction some hard drinks being served. She saw Vodka and insisted on a cocktail with Vodka, club soda and a dash of lime with lot of ice.

She felt as if she was in heaven as soon as she took her first sip. Magic Moments was an out and out Indian brand and quite famous in the market. She, however, preferred something from United Breweries like White Mischief or Romanov. She did not want to get drunk and she preferred this than plain water. She could always go for lemon soda or cola. But this was much better.

She could feel quite a few stares behind her back. She was supposed to be in Bangalore, the most happening of all cities. She wondered why some of them stared. It was her life and her choice. Sanjay joined her shortly and he had a drink too.

"What do you have there?"

"oh, the usual rum and coke."

"Can I taste it?"