Dean winchester is my dad

Everybody Loves a Clown

Lydia stayed in the hospital for around two more weeks to continue healing Dean and Sammy were in a fog they couldn't quite believe what had happened they had lost the colt because Sam had Cleaned out the trunk of the impala and hid everything in their hotel room and had discovered that it was missing a fact that sent Sam reeling because it was the one object that could kill yellow eye's and everything that they had gone to have the Colt just disappear.

Dean was reeling because he suspected that John had made a Deal to bring him back to life and that guilt was something that he was trying to work out in his mind it angered him that his Dad would do that but then He thought of the things he would do for Lydia and Sam and in his mind he was fighting the conflicting issues from his heart and head; he was also reeling from the Impala which was a wreck he would be spending a huge amount of time fixing it up at Bobby's junk yard while Lydia was still recovering from having her cracked skull and several other injuries. They had also made arrangements to salt and burn John's body just after Dean got released from the hospital a couple of days after John died.

that was a particularly hard day for all of them especially for Dean, he had to not only give his father a hunter's burial, but he also had to tell Lydia that she couldn't attend and say goodbye to her grandpa because she was still too injured to be signed out of the hospital on temporary leave to go the funeral so she cried and begged she unsettled herself so much that she sent her heart rate and blood pressure sky rocketing that they had to sedate her so she wouldn't injure her self more, this was the thing that was the hardest to deal with about Lydia she was other wise a sweet, caring, sensible and obedient child that nobody that didn't know her would think that she was anything other then perfect; she could Deal with so many things that were unpleasant monsters, blood, and all kinds of nastiness but when it came to the loss of her family and people that she was close with it broke her a little bit each time it was so hard for her to let them go.

The Doctors sedated her and told them they had about a 6 hour window to deal with the funeral before she would be awake the boys had taken advantage of that and met Bobby out in the middle of nowhere and chopped wood and built john his pyre and laid his body on top of it Sam sprinkled the Gas and salt on the body and dean took out his trusty zippo lighter lit a branch and threw it on top and then stood back and watched as the Pyre burst into flames Dean couldn't help compare the feeling of the heat and the flames he was feeling and watching to the hell his father's soul was now suffering because he chose to trade him self for Dean's life and thinking of the suffering that John was suffering was causing Dean's anger to burn hotter and closer to the surface he was trying to keep it together for Sam but mostly for Lydia because she didn't need to have her father breakdown when she was to sick to do anything for him, and that just made him feel even more buried in his emotional hole that he needed his daughter to console him and help him grieve but that's what she's always done for him be what he needed to get through the rough times with his father and when John had been missing and she helped him Deal with Sam it was a lot to ask and expect from an 8 and 1/2 year old but she wasn't a normal 8 1/2 year old girl she was older and more emotionally stable and logical about things so she was able to help him work things out like this but this whole thing had thrown them for a loop.

Dean and Sam got back to the Hospital just in time for Lydia to wake up and see them walk into her room she looked over at Dean and pierced his gaze with hers and he could see the pleading and tears already forming in her eyes begging him for consolation and answers.

Lydia: "Were gonna kill the Demon right Daddy?"

(Lydia rarely sounded so small and wounded, but her body and emotions were just wrecked at this point and the only thing that Dean could answer with was.) "Yes Liddy, were gonna kill that yellow eyed son of a Bitch Demon not just for grandma Marry and Jess, but also for grandpa john so you don't have to have nightmares about that ok?"