𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐓 𝐆𝐀𝐋𝐀 → SHAWN MENDES

breakdown

question of the chapter: what is your favorite vine

my answer:

either

"when i leave you wanna keep doing this, but when i come around you dont wanna post up."

OR

"GIMME UR FUCKIN MONEY"

~a~

i stared at my phone screen, the text from last night staring back at me. after getting over my paranoid thoughts of the sender being some crazy stalker, i decided to text back.

me
who is this

my fingers hovered over the screen as the three dots instantaneously appeared. you could sense the anxiety and nervousness coursing off of me right now, from miles away.

216-836-1876
amaya. it is your father.

i felt my heart sink to the bottom of my chest, and the room around me began spinning. how did he get my number? why did he decide to contact me?

i began pacing back and forth across the living room deciding what i had to do next. i was so grateful that no one was home with me right now, because i was not in the right state of mind to be dealing with people. my confusion turned into anger, which turned into rage.

how dare he fucking contact me out of no where? 21 years after he decided he didn't want me in his life.

i grabbed my phone off of the couch i had thrown it on and began furiously typing.

me
how did you get my number
why are you contacting me?
what the hell makes you think i want anything to do with you.

without even waiting for his response i grabbed my purse, phone and car keys and stormed out of my apartment. i knew the only way to get any answers or any closure was to just see him in person. i dont know where the boost of confidence or energy came from but, i got into my car, put in the address that i had now engraved into my memory, and drove to that stupid fucking house.

i pulled up across the street, and just stared at the house from my car. it was as simple as could be. the perfect family home. white picket fence, swing set in the back, flowers on the bushes. the perfect fucking house. i was snapped out of my thoughts when a white ford pulled into the driveway of the house. i tried to duck my head to hide my face from view. the car door opened and out came my father. i recognized his shaggy brown hair and beard from the photos james sent me. he was laughing at something, twirling the car keys on his fingers. a moment later, the passenger side door opened, and a beautiful blonde woman walked out. she was in a pink sundress, a bright smile on her face. this had to be his wife. she was the epitome of a suburban mother.
she opened the back door and that's when my heart literally shattered in two. a girl, who looked almost my age, exited the car, and a younger boy, no older than 10 followed. the boy ran into my fathers arms as he lifted him up and spun around. he had a soccer jersey on and i assumed he had just won his game. i scrambled for my phone to finally read through the file james had sent me.

samuel cordero, 44
leah coredero, 42
lauren cordero, 21
joseph cordero, 9

my heart stopped. lauren was 21. the same fucking age as me. tears began to spill from my eyes as i watched the happy family in front of me. the one thing he said he didn't want with us, with my mother, he had now. and there was no doubt in my mind that he got leah pregnant merely months after he got my mom pregnant.
it started to get harder and harder to breath, and i knew i was having an anxiety attack. i couldn't stop crying, but i was fuming. anger, disappointment.... betrayal. that what i felt right now.
he left us. abandoned us. but chose to start a family with someone knew months later.... what changed....

i gripped the steering wheel, finally looking away from the house, in order to calm my breathing.

inhale
1
2
3
4
5
exhale

i still couldn't stop the sobs from escaping my lips.
my phone buzzed in my cup holder, scaring the crap out of me. shawn's contact name flashed across my screen and i contemplated ignoring the call at first.

"h-hello?" i sniffled out.

"amaya where are you? we were supposed to meet 20 minutes ago for a date," he asked, worried on the other end.

i looked at the clock on my dashboard and noticed it was 2:50 and i had completely forgot we had a date scheduled.

"oh um, yeah right i'm sorry. im on my way i'll be there s-soon." i muttered out.

"maya is everything ok?"

"yeah i'll see you soon," i quickly spoke, hanging up immediately because i couldn't handle him asking more questions.

i furiously wiped away all the tears that wouldn't stop flowing down my face. i definitely wasn't in the right state of mind to be driving, but i had to get out of here. there was no way i couldn't stand to look at him and his happy family any longer.

quickly starting up my car, i sped past his house hoping to not be spotted. my heart physically hurt. it was like someone took a knife and had just jabbed it right though.
my eyes burned, and it was so hard to focus on the road, but within 10 minutes i had pulled up to shawn's building. i threw a hoodie i had in the back seat on, and put on my sunglasses to hide my bloodshot eyes.
as i stepped on to the elevator, i pulled my glasses down for a moment, staring into my tear-stained, puffy, red eyes. i looked miserable and i hate this. i hated that 21 years later my father still had such an effect on me.
the elevator dinged snapping me out of my thoughts.
i walked down the familiar hallway, and met the door to shawn's condo.
knocking twice, i began fiddling with my thumbs, my sunglasses still on my face.

moments later the door swung open and revealed a perfect as ever shawn mendes.
"took you long enough,", he exclaimed, "where have you been?"
as i tried to get words out, shawn just looked at me expectantly.
"and why are you still wearing your sunglasses— amaya are you high?" he asked, a hint of anger lingering in his voice.

i let out a breathy laugh, "i wish.." i pulled the sunglasses off of my face, revealing the fact that i had been crying for a solid thirty minutes now.

his face immediately softened as he took a step closer to me, "no what happened?" he asked me softly.

tears began forming in my eyes, "i saw my dad.." i managed to get out before hysterically sobbing once again.

shawn immediately engulfed me into a hug as i hysterically cried in his arms.

i can't even tell you how long we stood there for, but after what felt like years, i felt shawn lift me up and place me down on his couch. he never let go of me the entire time, letting me sob into his arms.

after letting out what felt like all the tears in my body, i picked my head up off of his shoulders and looked up at him.
he lifted his hand and brushed a few stray tears off of my cheeks.
"i'm so sorry, your shirt is ruined," i lightly laughed looking down at his mascara and tear soaked t-shirt.

he brushed it off, continuing to caress my cheek.
"you wanna talk about it?" he asked me gently, as if any moment now id break again. he wasn't wrong to worry though. my emotions were all over the place.

i slowly nodded, "he texted me last night, and i was so furious that after 21 years he reached out. so i finally visited the address," i let out a shaky breath, "he was there with a family. a wife, two kids, one of which is my age."
i let out a dry laugh, "he couldn't stay and be a family with us because he didn't want that, but he 3 months later he stays with her?! what made her better than us?" i started yelling.
"i'm so mad and hurt and fucking betrayed by him." i shakily spoke, the tears threatening to spill again.

"hey hey, come here," shawn opened his arms again, and immediately fell into them. his hand began running through my hair in an attempt to calm me down. every few moments he'd mutter a "you're ok," "shh baby it's okay" and some other comforting words.

who would've thought that the guy who i practically despised a few weeks ago, was the one comforting me right now.

————————
hi wow this sucks i'm so sorry. anyways to those of you who guessed her dad yay go you! (sad that i made it predictable)