Doctor Hwang | Seungjin

⌊ seven ⌉

hyunjin stared out of the window of his office in the hospital. he was on a break but he don't feel that it is really a break because he's exhausted of his train of thoughts, all are thoughts of seungmin. he's grateful that he don't have an afternoon appointment with any patients or else he'll surely just fucked up.

one week since that day that seungmin was sick and one week since that they they he kissed seungmin on the forehead. he still can't grasp why he did that, why he kissed him. its just a forehead kiss yet it made hyunjin felt like this.

seungmin has been calling him for a hang out for the past days but he always refused the offer just so he can avoid the younger. felix and jisung were also calling him and asking him why he's always refusing seungmin's offers but he always reasoned that he's busy in the hospital but his two friends know him better. they know that something is wrong between him and seungmin, or more like there's something wrong with hyunjin and his feelings for seungmin.

"that, is what they call, gay panic" felix once said last tuesday when they happened to spend time on a cafe, without seungmin, of course.

hyunjin leaned back on his chair as he sighed. is felix right? is he really not just sure of his feelings for the younger? they just became friends, so how would he be so sure that he likes the younger? how did felix knew that he likes changbin? and how did jisung knew that he likes that minho when they only met each other not too long ago?

the doctor's thoughts was cut off when his phone rang. he reached it from his coat pocket, found out that it's jisung before answering.

"what do you need?" he greeted in an irritated tone, making jisung chuckled on the other line.

"woah. who made you mad?" jisung laughed. hyunjin rolled his eyes.

"just tell me what you need. i'm busy"

"just wanna ask if you already got the courage to talk to seungmin" jisung answered. "come on, man. he's been asking felix and i about you. poor guy must be so worried because you're obviously avoiding him"

hyunjin sighed. the thought of seungmin worrying about him avoiding him is enough to make hyunjin guilty. why is he even avoiding the younger? it will just make seungmin feels like he lost a friend or something.

"fine. i'll go to him after my break" hyunjin told jisung.

"good. and can you like settle your feelings for him already? if you like him then make a move already" jisung told him.

"i don't like him, jisung" hyunjin told back.

"sure. continue convincing yourself that you don't like him when it's already so obvious" jisung said in a matter of fact tone.

hyunjin rolled his eyes before clicking his tongue in annoyance. "how am i supposed to know that i like him? sure, we've known each other since i became their family doctor but how the hell would i know that i like him?" hyunjin groaned.

"you won't avoid him for one week now if you don't like him, hyunjin" jisung pointed out.

hyunjin scoffed. "i'm avoiding him because i was confused, okay? that doesn't mean that i like him!" he exclaimed.

"listen here you hoe. you like seungmin, its so obvious and you're literally screaming the words 'i am gay!'" jisung yelled on the other line.

"you also listen here you hoe. i'm not like you who immediately know that you like that minho guy even with just seeing him for the first time!" hyunjin yelled back, he can hear jisung letting out a sigh on the other line.

"its not about how long we've know each other, hyunjin. i just knew that i like him so who am i to deny my feelings? and minho also likes me so what will happen if i didn't say that i like him and just ignore him? we're probably just a strangers now" jisung explained.

"and what's the relevant of your relationship with minho to my problem right now?" hyunjin sassed.

jisung groaned. "if you don't tell seungmin more early that you like him he'll probably end up with someone else!"

"i told you that i don't like him!" hyunjin exclaimed.

"you can fool yourself but not me hwang hyunjin! we all know that you're far from straight"

"i didn't even say that i'm straight"

"because you really aren't and you're gay for kim seungmin as much as i am gay for lee minho and felix to seo changbin" jisung retorted.

"this talk is nonsense" hyunjin muttered.

"you like kim seungmin"

"for the hundredth fucking time han jisung! how am i supposed to fucking make sure that i fucking like him?!" hyunjin snapped but jisung only laughed on the other line.

"imagine yourself without seungmin. imagine that you didn't become their family doctor. imagine that you're not his friend, that you don't know each other at all" jisung told him.

hyunjin paused and did what jisung told him. imagining his life without seungmin in it.

hwang hyunjin without kim seungmin doesn't sound right for him. its empty and nonsense.

"so, what does it feel?" jisung asked after a minute or so.

"i don't even want to imagine it. its awful" hyunjin whispered unconsciously.

"now go and make a move before everything that you imagined happen" jisung cackled on the other line.

perhaps, seungmin is really taking a spot on hyunjin's heart and the latter is willing to give all his heart to the younger.