Chapter 10

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Andrea knew Jessica did not like her crush on Kody but she thought she would be happy for her but after she told her story, Jessica told her she should have said no because he is just using her and he is using her feelings for him to get it. She just does not know why Jessica is all gloomy after this news, as her friend, she should be happy for her. Jessica has been trying to get her out of it for the whole of the break by telling her all the times he used her and that he will embarrass her and she won't be able to leave but she was not hearing it. She will have to avoid meeting up with her after school, she can't be around her when she's just going to bring down her mood. Andrea entered the class and the first place she looked was his place but he was not there, Samantha and gang were and they were looking at her and they gave out a sweet smile when she looked at them and she scolded herself for looking at his seat in front of his friends. She went to her seat for the last period, when she found out what class it was, she gave out a breath of frustration and took her things to sit next to Sally and Zackery, who she managed not to talk to today but she has no choice now... she smiled at Sally "hey, I was thinking we should meet up tomorrow at the library and come up with someone together and we each will have to search about different parts of their life" we were given a project to write and present a biography of an influential person and its due at the end of November, we are a week away from Halloween so there is enough time. "yeah sure, it would be better to start now than the last minute and we have a better chance of getting an A project" Sally nodded to me then looked up to see Zackery coming "you better tell him to meet us there" Sally said then she turned to take out her books. Andrea said she will tell him after he settles down but she still did not look at him and just carried on with work, writing an essay that's due at the end of class. "you want to tell me something?" she looked up shocked to see him with an eyebrow up, looking at her "oh, urm yeah... we going to meet up at the library tomorrow to sort out the project" he looked at me pointedly for a while and I wondered what's up "ok... what time should I be there?" oh! Damn what is wrong with me "Sally, what time should we meet up?" she looked up and bit her bottom lip in thought "I am free from after one..." Andrea was free anytime "it's up to you, after one that is" Andrea told Zackery "I have an appointment at six so I can make it at two and leave at around four" she looked past Zackery and saw Jade scowling at her and she frowned and mouthed 'what', she rolled her eyes and pointed to Zackery and Sally and mouthed something that Andrea didn't understand so she just shook her head and shrugged to which Zackery saw and turned around and saw Jade, she flipped him off to which he sneered and started his essay. The bell rang and Andrea was so absorbed with finishing her essay that she didn't know until Sally had to squeeze behind her and scooted her chair a bit and jolted her out of her zone, Andrea looked around and started scribbling down the last paragraph and ended it in a mess and she was one of the last to give it in but at least she finished, she turned to get her things from her desk and saw Kody and friends lounging against the front desks by the door and her nerves hit her. She ended up being the last to pack up and leave but Kody and gang were still in class and Andrea was a bit hopeful that they were waiting for her and it made her feel good but she didn't want Jessica to see her with Kody so she tried formulating a plan to make her exit and avoid all of them and meet later but just as she reached them and stood awkwardly by them, Samantha came from outside "ok its done let's go" she felt embarrassed because they were waiting for Samantha! She should have known. Andrea walked slowly outside behind them and tried to act like she was not following them etc. and went up to the ladies to stay a while but she needed to know where to meet them... and she wanted Kody to come up and get her so she changed directions, careful so as not to be noticed and went to the car park and out the gates, there she stood awkwardly alone, thinking about what she should do, she saw Kody and gang exit school and go down an ally and knew they were dealing or going to do drugs, she looked around and saw Jessica looking at her but leave with a frown on her face with Aneliya. Andrea contemplated just leaving and going to the library but if this was her only chance to spend time with Kody, she should take it, this is their final year and it is almost over but she didn't want to wait here alone and act desperate so she slowly followed the alleyway till she found them and Aneliya's brother with another dude!

Andrea and Aleksandur decided to go to Nando's, she is lucky to have spoken out before him or else, everyone would know she fights underground and especially Kody... she sometimes wonders if it would make her cool if everything came out and the answer is yes but there are also consequences that she would have to deal with and it overbears the good side. On the walk over to Nando's, they met up with Aneliya and they all headed to Nando's, Aneliya found out that Andrea fights because apparently, Aleksandur does not really lie to her but after a while Andrea grew to like both of them and she was not so afraid about her secret because both Aleksandur and Aneliya fights but do not fight often and they had a good fighting background, by the time they reached Nando's, they became fast friends and Andrea found the part of herself that has always been hidden and shared with Crystal coming out, that put a damper on things by bringing her grief to the forefront but Crystal would never have wanted her to scamper away, she always wanted Andrea to be herself, always. Aneliya spoke to her about moving here and the experience she has here and how different Bulgaria is and how she feels more connected and herself here and Andrea told her about America and here and how she felt 'herself' with her cousin. Aleksandur said he was himself always and we girls are just too complicated for a simple life and went on to explain how it is the same everywhere and then changed topics to inviting Andrea to watch them train tomorrow "I wish I could but I have a project to deal with, maybe next time though, we can teach each other new things" Aneliya pouted and Aleksandur gave her puppy eyes so she rolled her eyes but she agreed to meet up here and go to their house after four.

Dear Diary, I must say that things are beginning to look up. Not so long ago, I was just a zombie but; they always say life goes on after death and now I understand it, the saying is for the living, Crystal and Anthony died but they live on through me, I always carry them along and because I know them, I know their responses to my life choices and their opinion helps me. I have given up so much because of their death and I know they would have pulled, shoved and dragged me all over until I got my head on straight and lived; and so I am not going to waste any more time drowning, I'm going to swim and enjoy my journey till I reach the Shaw, and I will; having experienced drowning and being attacked by predators, I will not let that happen again to me or anyone else, not if I have any say in the matter. I am going back to where it all started and I am going to finish it, I am going to become an FBI Agent and I am going to bring down as many criminals as I can but I am not going to absorb myself into work, I am going to have fun, I am going to live! Because this world is to be lived in, not only to survive in.

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