Chapter 14

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Andrea was in a bad mood, Jade can be really insensitive and wants things to be done her way, even if the outcome will be the same. She does not understand why people ask questions when they have their own answer and if you try to give another, they push it aside or talk over you. She tried to think about anything else but her mind keeps creeping onto that situation and she gets angry and annoyed all over again. This reminds her of when she and Crystal were in the wrong place at the wrong time and got questioned by the police because they were so close to a drug breakout, no matter how many times they told the police that they were just having a picnic, they did not believe them because they were seen with the drug crowd and it was true as the crowd was from Crystal's school and were messing with her but she was able to get away when they were called for something, Crystal was embarrassed to say she was being bullied though. The police dragged them to the station with the others and it was there they learnt that the polices were rookies and were trying to get in good with the office but they got disgraced when they brought us in because we were well known to be FBI's in training and being so close to the FBI, as to be staying with one, we would never be able to get away with being an outlaw, the police were congratulated for bringing in the real culprits but it was not as so much as a pat on the back because they also didn't listen. Jade will get hers one of the days, just like the rookies did. Thinking about the FBI reminded her about her meeting, would she be over with it to join Kody or should she cancel? Damn it, she can't cancel it! This is what everyone wants, to go out with their crush and the chanced opened its path to her and she's not going to close it. Her first love didn't work out and it might be selfish to jump into another path of her life so quickly but she feels that if she lets the past take hold of her, it will never let go of her so she must run and chase it both at the same time. She met with Aneliya in the break and to her surprise, Aleksandur met them at the fence and it was a shock to everyone, including Jessica that they knew each other. It was more a shock when they learned she stayed at their house and Andrea could see a change in Jessica that she hopes is not a sign that it will cause a rift in their friendship. Andrea wanted to talk to Jessica and tell her what happened but she can't without lying about her fighting and where she met Aleksandur who said he met Andrea in the village but Jessica would want to know every detail, the good thing is that Aleksandur does not look like the brooding fighting type, he is hardly ever serious. Jessica would also be moody about Kody asking me out again and she does not need it, she knows what she's doing and doesn't need others to stick their noses in her business and tell her what is wrong and right when they don't know everything. Aneliya saw Andrea's mood and steered clear but at the same time, she wanted to help but decided that Andrea will come to her if she needs help and she didn't want any questions to be pointed her way.

What Andrea hates the worst is how people see others doing something or wears something and complains why you can't or don't do it and how clever and successful they turned out to be and you could have done it, yet when you had tried in the past or now, they complain by telling you to do something else and put you down and tell you it's just a waste. For someone who is so used to failure to hear that every time he or she does something the first time and doesn't master it and looked down because of it, it ruins the whole effect and you don't feel like trying anything because you believe them, that no matter what you do you are a failure and your experience proves that is the truth, plus even if they try again, their hearts are not in it so they bound to fail, no matter what people say, that practice makes perfection, if your heart is not in it... There is so much pressure to move forward in life and succeed but if you draw your own path, you are met with thorny shrubs and only the lucky few can get out of it so the pressure is to travel the paths already cleared but if you cannot find a path, you are said to be a failure in life.

She was looking out over her balcony and watching the birds sing and bathe in the bird baths she made, they were so beautiful, she hardly ever comes out here and just watches the animals and that made her sad because she's been missing out on so much. The monkeys are play fighting and tumbling all over and running, they are so mischievous; that it is so entertaining. She leaned on the railing and sipped her coffee in bliss and she only went inside when she could no longer stand. She went into her room and decided to try to write a poem, somedays she's successful but other days, it just shows the struggle.

The dark clouds

Shows the darkness in me,

The storm you bring out in me,

Oh, how I pour inside,

Like a thunderstorm,

But you'll never see me break,

Like when the clouds clear,

From the dark gloomy storms,

I will show everyone my sun and moon,

Hide my scars that cracked,

In the storms, you bring out in me,

Will I ever be enough?

Will anyone take me,

With all my storms?

Wouldn't it bring them down to my level?

Oh, how I pour inside,

But you'll never see me break,

You'll never see me break,

I'm drowning,

Oh, I'm drowning in this pouring storm,

In the storms, you bring out in me,

But you'll never see me break,

Until it's too late,

And I'm gone

Taken away by the storm

Andrea was in awe like she always was when she writes a great poem, not a rhyming poem but a poem none- the less. She can't figure out how such a thing comes out of her, she never imagined herself to be someone poetic but it just comes to her on days and even when she is in the middle of something, that she is not able to write it down and it gets lost in her memory, is a real downer though.

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