chapter twenty one

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tw for drugs/drug use

this is where we start to get angsty

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"Is Lauren in?" Camila asks Lucy as she walks into the apartment, swinging her keychain around on her fingers. "I was bored and thought I'd come and annoy her."

"Oh shit, she gave you a key?" Lucy looks up from the kitchen counter as she's making a sandwich. "And yeah, she's in her room but she told us all not to disturb her. I think she's working on an essay."

"Well, you know what, I'm her girlfriend, I can disturb her when I want," Camila decides, walking across to Lauren's bedroom door. "Essays be damned."

She's joking, obviously, and if Lauren tells her to go away, she will. Lucy laughs at her confidence. "Alright, but if she bites your head off, I told you so."

Camila snorts as she opens Lauren's bedroom door and shuts it behind her, but she frowns when her girlfriend isn't there. "Lo?"

She spots the curtains that open to Lauren's balcony moving in the wind, and realises that she's probably out there. She smiles, crossing the room, and pushes the curtains aside, and meeting Lauren's gaze just as she takes a drag from the joint she's smoking.

"Oh," Lauren blows out the smoke, looking a little guilty. "Hi."

Camila eyes the joint with slight disappointment, and she hates the smell because it brings back bad memories, but she doesn't comment on it. She knows that Lauren smokes occasionally, and she doesn't mind, because it's not like it's excessive. She's just stressed.

"Hey," Camila pulls out the chair across from her, thankful that the wind is blowing away from her. "Are you okay?"

"Mhm," Lauren hums, "just- my brain isn't working and I need it to. I didn't know you were coming over."

"I don't care that you're smoking if that's what you're thinking about," Camila assures her. She doesn't entirely like it, but she's not going to judge. "But you told me you only do it when you're stressed, which means you're stressed."

"Just... this stupid essay," Lauren sighs, taking another drag and looking out at the balcony's view. "It's like I can't wrap my head around it."

"Well..." Camila frowns as Lauren blows out smoke again, and she doesn't want to admit it, but she finds it kind of attractive, "when is it due in?"

"Two and a half weeks," Lauren murmurs, "but I like to get it all done in advance and then I can like, proof it and stuff."

"Obviously you're not going to do any more work on it tonight if you're high," Camila points out, and Lauren closes her eyes, taking another drag, "so... so you shouldn't worry. Plus, you've got plenty of time, and if you take the rest of the night off, you can come back to it tomorrow with a fresher perspective, right?"

She hopes she's making sense, and Lauren meets her gaze, eyes so tired and sad. "I guess so."

Camila sends her a comforting smile. "See, I'm smart. Once you've finished that, we can go inside and I'll cheer you up. Or annoy you, whichever way you want to see it."

"You could never annoy me." Lauren sends her a small smile, and it comforts Camila a lot; the only times she'd ever seen Lauren high, it had never been good for her. "I love you."

Camila smiles. "I love you too."

She watches as Lauren silently smokes, letting her have her space, and admittedly, it is kind of attractive to watch her. Not that she'd admit that. When Lauren finishes her joint, she leaves the end in the ashtray on the little plastic table and rubs at her eyes with the back of her hands.

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