1994.

16. INKED HEARTS

INKED
HEARTS

JEONGGUK'S POV

TATTOOS FOR JEONGGUK were almost therapeutic — he felt relaxed as the needle pushed the ink rapidly into the side of his neck, time almost going too fast for him. it was strange, but not unexpected, for tattoos to put him at ease: pain helped him rest sadly enough.

jaehyun, his tattooist for the day, sat back in his chair and wiped at jeongguk's new neck tattoo, "there you go, all done. you seem to enjoy tattoos, i saw you nodding off a few times."

jeongguk shrugged whilst sitting up, taking the mirror jaehyun handed him, "i enjoy the pain. i know, weird, but its a good kind of pain."

but despite jeongguk's words, jaehyun just laughed, "no worries. i enjoy it too, the best kind of pain in my opinion," as jeongguk studied his tattoo, he watched him, motioning to the new piece, "who's the lucky lady then? or guy, whatever you're into."

the honey boy, though not as sweet, stared at the cursive words upon his neck in the mirror's reflection. 'sweetheart', swirling around the side of his neck, stood out against his paled skin and black hair, a permanent reminder of the girl he lost that sickly–sugared summer.

so his lip twitched from an oncoming frown when jaehyun spoke, "my... girlfriend."

the tattooist smiled at that, standing from his wheeled chair to clean up the ink pots and tattoo gun, "ah! will she be pleased with my work, do you think?"

oh god did he wish she was here to see it. he'd like to think she would be shocked at first, possibly be mad, but flattered all the same, "she uh... she died... about a year ago."

jaehyun froze and caused him to nearly drop the wipe in his hand, looking back at his customer to see his glossy eyes and mirror in his lap, hands gripping the edge a little too tightly.

"oh fuck man i..." he sighed, "i'm so sorry for your loss..."

jeongguk waved it off, "it's... it's fine don't sweat it. i got it to kind of... i don't know... to always remember her i guess," his gaze dropped to the floor and he tried not to remember her happy ways — he tried not to remember how happy she made him, in that moment, in fear that he'll break down in front of someone no more than a stranger, "i don't want to let her go."

the other male nodded, "that's completely understandable, and very sweet of you. props for that," he smiled just ever so slightly, "i have my boyfriend's nickname tatted on me too—"

jeongguk rose a brow, "boyfriend?"

"yeah..." his smile turned... sad? a bashful blush took over his clear cheeks, a rush of embarrassed heat, "i don't think i can say the nickname though, because if taeyong ever found out—"

"taeyong?" he chuckled — taeyong, the drug dealer who always seemed to have a scowl and aura of danger (much like himself apparently), "wow, i never pinned him down to be the lovey–dovey type."

jaehyun shrugged, leaning against a counter with his arms crossed over his chest, a twinge of love to his sparkling eyes, "he has his nice moments. being a drug dealer doesn't allow him to be the loving one all the time," his adoring stare connected with jeongguk's fascinated one, "but he puts aside time for me. flowers, dates, all that shit. i'm grateful for whatever he gives me."

flowers, dates, all that shit.

jeongguk nodded whilst putting his denim jacket back on, mindful of his new tattoo doing so. he thought to himself that he and raesun should've had more time together, away from the garage, and spent their days much like the ice cream shop date. he wished he got to give her flowers but where could he start with them? jeongguk thought she deserved all flowers: sunflowers, daisies, wildflowers alike.

hell, he'd give her a whole meadow if that's what it took to make her happy.

just before he could leave to decay in self–hate once again, jaehyun spoke, "she was your sweetheart?"

and, unlike his new found ways, jeongguk smiled, "she'll forever be my sweetheart."

— 雨 —