until it's empty

04.

song for chapter- listen before i go by billie eilish
(put on repeat)

pain surging through my veins as i lay there helplessly on my bed. my small uncomfortable bed. the window to the left of the room was slightly cracked opened. the door to the right stay shut as i cry out for help.

i've never cried so much in my life. the tequila bottle that wasn't even close to being empty stands on the floor beside my bed.

it was 7:00 in the morning on a Tuesday. too sore to go to school, i just lay there contemplating whether i should drink my feelings or not.

to think helping my father would make him love me. but the countless amount of bruises left by him from yesterday tells me otherwise.

the squeaking of the front door opening was heard from my room. i knew it wasn't my father for he left last night and wouldn't be home for a day. he never comes home any earlier.

"MARK!" i scream. "MARK PLEASE HELP ME!"

i hear the footsteps over my quiet sobs. the bedroom door opens and reveals a tired looking Eli and Mandy behind him.

her blonde hair messed up along with his black hair. why were they here? he runs to the side of my bed but i push him away with a scowl on my face.

he backs up to watch my sudden movements. "leave," i say blandly. i reach down for the tequila bottle and pull it into my lap.

"what happened?" he asked sounding concerned. i looked up to him with my nose scrunched, mouth a straight line, and eyebrows furrowed.

"you would know if you weren't fucking every girl in my school!" i yelled, infuriated. Mandy just stands in the doorway not knowing what to do.

i wouldn't blame her. no ones ever seen me cry besides my dad, Mark, and my mom. "leave," i say to her.

"give me that," says Eli. i turn back towards him, snatching the bottle away from him though he never leaned to get it.

"LEAVE!" i yell even louder. i wanted Mark. Mark was my bestfriend and knew how to fix everything. not once did he ever leave my side when i needed him.

"i'm trying to help you Richie," he coos. Eli takes a step closer to me and gently grabs my empty hand in his. after he see's my bruised knuckles he carefully lifts the sleeve of my maroon hoodie.

his and Mandy's eyes go wide as they gawk over my bruised arms. Eli looks back up at my face to analyze my cut lips and slightly black eye.

"did you get into a fight at school?" he asks. i shake my head frantically and start crying again. in the corner of my eye i see Mandy slowly making her way over.

before i can react, Eli engulfs me in a warming hug. my sobs are silenced a little as i hide my face in his muscly shoulder. him and Mark were built. Eli just used it as an advantage to get girls. Mark got ripped so he could stand up to my dad.

"i'm gonna get you ice okay?" he says. after he feels me nod, he leaves the embrace to leave my bedroom.

watching him leave, i open the bottle of tequila and bring it to my swollen lips. after the stinging fluid hits my taste buds i set it back in my lap.

i completely forgot that Mandy was here until she spoke up, "you shouldn't drink that." but this time it wasn't in a bitchy way. it sounded more cautious. as if she was trying to deactivate a bomb.

i turn my head to make eye contact. and with no facial expression at all, i bring the big bottle up to my lips and chug some of it before bringing it back down to my lap.

she rolls her eyes as a reaction which makes me smirk. "maybe if you keep rolling your eyes you'll find a brain," i say with a sarcastic smile.

Mandy just chuckles in response which throws me off. "who um...what happened?" she asked calmly.

"nothing," i say lowly, almost a whisper. "leave," i say now annoyed by her presence.

"are you coming to school?" she asks, ignoring me. "why aren't you at school anyways," i ask ignoring her this time.

"my dad um, he called in for me and said i wasn't coming to school," she says a bit uneasy.

"why?" i scoff.

"what happened with your dad?"

"you told everyone at school last time i told you. that's not happening again."

"i'll tell you if you tell me," she implies.

"what are you, five?"

"five inches deep in your mom," she responds trying to lighten the mood. instead of laughing along with her i just stare at her as if she's stupid.

"sorry i forgot," she adds. Mandy has a mom, she just left Mandy's dad. Mandy's parents battled for custody until her mom gave up since Mandy will be 18 in April which is in 7 months. mine is in May.

"leave," i say and this time she does. after she leaves i take 2 more long's sips of the alcohol before tucking in under my bed.

Eli comes in my room with Advil, water, and ice before leaving once again. leaving me to sleep or wait for Mark.