until it's empty

14.

song for chapter- medusa by kailee morgue
(put on repeat)

we can't just run away from our problems. if we truly want them gone then we have to face them. we have to get rid of them ourselves.

we can try smoking away the pain. we can try drowning them in alcohol. but that's all temporary.

my problem is my dad. the man i call my father. the fact that i can't come home happily without him being gone proves that he's my problem.

him being in rehab just takes my worries away temporarily. because when he gets out, i don't know how he'll be. i don't know if he'll go back to drinking. i don't know if he'll be abusive.

and that's why i have to face him. i need to talk to him. not yell. not argue. i need to address everything he's put me through and all the hurt he's caused me.

to bury the hatchet. and if his cold, broken heart doesn't cooperate, i'll make sure i'll never have to see him again.

with that being said, i open the doors to the rehab center and make my way to the front desks. my father receives Inpatient Treatment which means he is able to stay here 24/7. under any other circumstances, he stays with my Aunt Lucy.

"uh where would i find Kristopher Day? he'd be receiving inpatient treatment," i ask the elderly woman at the front desk.

she gives me a sweet smile before telling that he's in therapy. i ask the sweet old lady if there's any way i can speak to him. to which she replies with a simple yes before she leads me down the long corridor.

we reach a door that has a small plaque with the name 'Bensen' imprinted on it. the woman knocked softly on the wooden door with her fragile hands not long before a younger man opens it.

he has a gentle brown colored hair with fair skin, jawline that could cut diamonds and piercing green eyes. he looks about his mid-twenties, but looks cold be deceiving. a smile plays on his full lips as he spots the elderly woman and i.

"hello, what can i do for you," he greets as the elderly walks back to her desk.

"um i believe you are counseling my father," i say kindly. "oh uh, i'm Rachel but everyone calls me Rich," i say sticking out my hand for him to shake.

"Marc Bensen," he replies, shaking my hand. his hand was soft to the touch sending chills down my spine but in a good way.

"so um?"

"oh yes, your father," he rushes. i chuckle as he leads me into the room. as i walk in, the first thing i see is a giant window looking into a garden, his desk to the right and chairs to the left and a sofa under the window.

my dad is sat right on the sofa. as his gaze meets mine we both just freeze. without another thought we both rush to each other and pull one another in a hug.

i take in his scent smelling of men's shampoo and body wash. the one that just has that comforting manly smell. for once he doesn't smell like cigarettes and alcohol.

we pull away and his hazel eyes are clouded with tears. his blonde hair was trimmed though it still went down to his shoulders, his face slightly growing a blonde beard and mustache.

"i'm so sorry Richie," his raspy voice speaks. i don't reply but pull him into another warm hug.

"i'll give you two a minute," Marc says as he walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.

we pull away from the embrace and sit down on the sofa inside of the office. i just don't know where to start. joy fills through me that he's not yelling for once. relief plays in since he's sorry. but pain also has a part in my emotions as i can't find myself to be completely comfortable around him.

"hi," i say with an awkward chuckle. he smiles at my inexperience with being social.

"i'm so sorry Rich, i truly am. i was obviously in a bad place and i know it's only been a week. but being away from you and in therapy these past couple days has made me realize what i've been doing. i see you here today, being able to face me after all the terrible things i've done to you and your brothers and it makes me realize what a strong girl you are. i can never say im sorry enough. i know i've set you up for failure by abusing you and yelling at you. i do. one night i went into your room while you were gone and i saw you had weed and tequila and other drugs sprawled under your bed. it made me realize i'm sending you down the wrong path. i decided to go through rehab before it's too late and you become like me. now i understand if you can't and i know your brothers certainly won't, but i will do whatever it takes to gain your forgiveness and send you down the right path," he explains.

"i forgive you," i say truthfully. and i mean it. i've always forgiven him. i just don't go back to the way things were. people make mistakes and you can forgive them but that doesn't mean you have to let them back in your life or start over again. it's simply saying 'i understand and i forgive. it's in the past and i'm moving on i'm just not comfortable moving on with you quite yet.'

forgiveness is the first step to a healthy bond at least.

"with that being said, please go home a get rid of those drugs and alcohol. you are young and should not be involved with that stuff. look at me. i've been depending on those to numb the pain ever since your mother died. where has that gotten me? it's sent me down the wrong path, beating my children, doing illegal shit, sent my in depression. the other day i went to your mothers grave the other day and apologized for everything mistake i've made since her death. that was facing on problem. this is another. me drinking, smoking, and doing drugs was me running away from my problems. if you want them gone then you have to face them," he finishes.