until it's empty

10.

song for chapter- arms unfolding by dodie
(put on repeat)

Rachel's POV

it was now Sunday. all i did was sleep yesterday. i didn't feel like doing anything other than suffering from my hangover.

jeez it's like every morning i'm drunk or i'm dealing with the aftermath.

i rolled over on my back and reached on the floor for my phone. i saw that i had 5 unread text messages left by Mandy from yesterday morning.

mandy: are you okay?
read 11:17 am
mandy: i hope you're feeling okay.
read 11:17 am
mandy: i'm sorry about the party
read 11:17 am
mandy: hello?
read 11:18 am
mandy: okay text me when you see these
read 11:18 am

the clock on my phone read 11:18 am so i decided to get out of my bed. regret instantly took over as i stepped on the carpeted floor of my room when pain shot up and down my spine.

i got on my knees and reach under my bed and pulled out paper to wrap the marijuana in. drinking was gonna kill me if i did it anymore. this will help a little.

after rapping the herbs in the brown paper, i brought the joint to my lips inhaling the soothing fumes. i walked out into the hall, stepping on the creaky wooden floor.

Eli, Mark, and Arron were all sitting at the dining table, bumming out in grey sweats and cutoff tanks. my scoff turned into a chuckle when i saw Marks chain around his neck, realizing how extra he is.

"ya know, no ones here to see your 'cool' chain," i tease. he stands up from his seat and follows me into the kitchen.

"no ones here to watch your 'cool ass' smoke weed," he taunts back as he snatches the blunt out of my mouth.

"hey give it back!" i chuckle, reaching for my blunt back. Eli comes into the kitchen, Arron following not long after.

"yeah Mark, give it back," Eli teases me as well. Arron walks over towards Mark and i, snatches the blunt, and hands to me.

"you shouldn't be smoking this," he says as he steps back and leans against the sink. Eli sits himself on top of the counter next to Arron as Mark leans against the counter opposite of them.

i draw the blunt back to my lips while i observe my family in front of me. the thought of us all getting along, hanging out...being a family, brings a bright smile across my lips.

"what are you smiling about missy? there's no smiling allowed," Eli taunts with a smile as well.

"this," i say gesturing to all of us in the kitchen. "i've missed you guys so fucking much," i add.

they all share looks, a smile appearing on each and every one of their faces. i open up arms and they each gather round, pulling us into a hug.

i was about to speak up and say some cheesy appreciation but i was interrupted by constant knocking on the door. we each pulled away from the hug and gave each other a confused expression.

"who's gonna get that?" i say, lowering the blunt from my mouth, exhaling smoke in the process.

Arron raised his hand signaling he'll get the door. he waltzed over to the door and opened it, still not showing who it was.

"um- uh- is uh Rich- i mean is Rachel here?" a female voice asks. my eyebrows scrunch in confusion as i try to recognize the voice from where i'm standing.

"Richie, it's for you," Arron states, though it was obvious since the door was literally right by the entrance of the kitchen.

putting the drug right back between my lips, i strut towards the door, not ashamed of my matching outfit with my brothers. once i take Arron's position after he walked into the kitchen, i immediately regretted it.

trying to avoid conversation with the prick in front of me, i slam the door shut only for it to be opened once more.

"please! just here me out!" she pleads.

"Eli! Mandy's here to fuck you again," i yell into the kitchen. he ignores me and instead engages in conversation with my other siblings.

i take the blunt out of my mouth once more and blow the smoke into Mandy's face before finally speaking to her. "why are you here?" i ask rudely.

"i just wanna apologize," her voice comes out quiet, almost in a whisper.

"fuck off."

"please Rich!"

"don't call me that," i snarl in disgust.

"please," she begs as she places her shaky hands on my bare shoulders.

"what do you want?! a friendship? a relationship? a hookup?" i rhetorically ask while shrugging her off.

"let me explain!" she pleads once more.

"fuck off," i repeat with a smile before slamming the door and walking back to my bedroom.

after shutting my door, i burn out the joint and fling it out the window. i walk back to my bed and grab the tequila. pathetic.

what happened to being sober?

throwing my antagonizing thoughts to the side, i take one long swig of the liquid that i've grown to love before screwing the cap back.

i hide my face in my pillow once i've put the bottle back on the floor.

no more sad shit. school tomorrow is gonna be different.