&𝘽𝙐𝙍𝙉 「ˢᶜᵒᵗᵗ ʳᵉᵉᵈ 」

eighteen !

Clay and I had a light conversation on the way to his house. I haven't mentioned anything about Scott and I didn't want to until we were away from the outside.

I didn't want anything to happen that would end bad in front of everyone. I never know what's going to happen since everything went South and has continued.

Clay and I went up to his room after saying hello to his parents and a quick conversation with them.

"I just wanted to know, uh, how are you? Like How've you been since... you know?" I didn't even want to say it. I knew if I did I would've started to cry.

My parents have been acting strong about it and I know it was only for me. They always hated us seeing them break down and now that a huge part of my life had been ripped painfully walk away from us, they had to act like it was going to be alright.

Clay looks at me from his bed that he was now sitting on. I took in a gulp from the way he looked like he wanted to bury himself.

"I...I don't know." He answered. I knew exactly how he feels.

"I just don't understand why. It shouldn't have happened and this school year is a mess and it's not the same. I miss giving that dumbass tutoring in math while he gave me girl advice. God he was dumb. I miss having a friend like him. He was always so nice and deserved so much more as he lived his life. He deserved so. Much. More." His voice broke near the end and I could feel the lump in my throat form.

I let out a breath as I looked at Clay. I could tell he was trying not to cry. He seemed to be so struck with the death of my brother and I had never realized.

"He did. He had so much coming ahead of him. Baseball scholarships, if he kept his grades up." I laugh lightly. "A wonderful girlfriend and friends, well good enough friends. Loving parents. And it was all taken away. Clay, I blame myself." I said. I could feel a tear slip from my eye and down my cheek.

"Why would you blame yourself? It's not your fault, Dillon." Clay looked at me confused.

"Cause he would still be here if I didn't have him take me home from that bullshit party." I answer.

"Dillon, you weren't the one who knocked the sign over." Clay puts his hand on me.

"What sign?"

"The stop sign. That's what caused that car to hit you guys. Someone took it down. They don't know who. Didn't even call the police. Dillon. I'm the one who called. I saw you guys." Clay looked worried by the expression on his face.

My head was spinning from this new information I was never told. How come no one told me this? Why hadn't this been mentioned? How have they not found out who the person was?

All these questions swarm in my head and I feel myself sinking back down after I was slowly pulling myself back up.

"Fuck." I let out shakily as I start to cry for the millionth time. "I'm sorry, I just—no one told me this. Thanks for showing up."

"I wish I had sooner." He replies quietly.

just got home let's go out

I text Scott the minute I got into my room.

After I got done talking to Clay, which I most definitely had longer than expected, I felt a little better. But even more lost than I had started.

okay be there soon

Was the reply I got.

I was glad I had gotten closer to Scott. The only good thing to happen.

I always knew Scott, but I never talked to him since Jeff never wanted me to talk to his friends. I never understood why when he always had them over or I was always with him when he went to Bryce and Carolinas.

I always heard them and saw them, but never aloud to hang out with them.

I kind of understand where he was coming from, including since I get pretty bad vibes from some people in the group, that I somehow manage to push off.

I decide to clean myself up after all the crying I had shared with Clay, that left us both devastated but yet better. Better to finally talk about it, even though I do all the time. Just for the both of us that so happened to be effected the same way.

I rush down the stairs when I heard a knock at the door, hoping I'll get there before any one else. To my dismay, my dad unfortunately beat me to it.

Out of all people. Out of him and my mom. It had to be him.

"Oh? Hello Scott." My dads voice was laced with confusion and I wanted to die right then and there.

"Yeah hey Scotty. Bye dad, we're leaving. Be back before 9." I linked my arm with Scott's and dragged him with me before my dad could bother on saying anything back.

Scott let out a nervous laugh.

"You don't mind if we walk do you?" I asked him.

"No."

It was actually a nice day to be out. At least in my opinion.

It wasn't cold and it wasn't hot. it was somewhere in between and it felt so nice.

"What is it you wanted to do?" Scott asked, curiosity in his voice.

"Just go to the park. I just wanted to hang out with you." I sent him a smile.

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The walk to the park wasn't long and we managed to have a conversation going on the way there.

I was glad to not have such a serious conversation with him, I feel like we never just have fun or talk about the small things in life.

Once we reached the park that was empty since the hour was getting late I took a quick look around before turning to Scotty with a smirk.

"Race ya to the swings." I said slyly.

"If you're ready to lose then yeah." He had a playful look in his eyes.

"Oh sure you will."

"Okay, loser has to buy ice cream." He held his hand out for a shake.

"Deal." I took my own hand to his. "Eat my dust player."

I took off as fast as I could ahead of him. I am not losing this.

I reached the swings, taking hard breaths from my lack of exercise and anything athletic. I was the exact opposite of Scott.

He played sports and he revolved around it while I revolved around netflix and my bed.

I sat on the swing I had grabbed onto when I reached them and saw that Scott was just walking to me.

"What?" I asked him when he reached me.

"I just wanted to see you run. That's funny." He said taking the swing next to me.

"You asshat. I ran for no reason. You're supposed to be playing football and baseball, yet you had me doing all the hard work." I pushed on his shoulder, hard.

"At least you don't have to pay for ice cream." He brought up.

"Your right, Reed."

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okay short but it's something right