Black Water | Tokyo Ghoul

Chapter 22: Out in The Open

Rin didn't wake up in his own bed today.

The bed was too soft, the blanket as thick and as warm as an overbearing mother's embrace, and the space, a little too tight since Rin wasn't alone on it.

While the ghoul was busy staring at the sheets, trying to organize the chaos that was his mind, Amon Koutarou was sleeping soundly right next to him with one bare arm tucked under the pillow, and another arm firmly wrapped around Rin's waist as if to anchor the ghoul and spoil any attempt at running away from the nightmare Rin had thrown himself into.

Even though the Dove's arm was practically an iron hold, Rin sat there trying not to bite his nails raw. The Rin from last night wasn't Rin.

Honestly enough, it was like someone else was holding his brain and pressing down on specific parts to make him do all the lovey dovey things.

There was only one time when he looked at someone the way he looked at Amon, and that seemed like a million years ago back when Rin was still a child unafraid of having crushes on humans.

But now, it seemed like the wretched feeling was coming back and probably harder to control.

Rin grinded his teeth and closed his eyes, 'Stop thinking about last night.'

He kept telling himself that as he partly focused on the way his pointing finger tapped madly at his thigh in an attempt to keep his mind working and to stop the childish flutter of his heart.

After what seemed like an eternity of just listening to the serene hum of the air conditioner at one corner of the room, Rin finally gave up concocting remedies for the mistake of last night.

He quietly sighed to himself, feeling his own breath flow over his bare chest as he exhaled then glanced at Amon.

The man's face was turned to Rin and the boy felt a slow warmth make its way to his pulsing brain, wrapping it in a sudden calmness that made Rin see the serene curl in the corner of his human's face and only that curl.

Rin felt his own smile rise in slight amusement.

How can such a huge, imposing man look like such a vulnerable toddler in his sleep?

A coldness suddenly numbed his body, seeping through his muscles and making him shudder through his skin as the smile slowly melted away.

Then, the voice.

The damn voice that always laughed out the manic and blood thirsty plans came hissing into his ear.

'What have you done?'

In a mere second, Rin felt the dread pass through him like cold electricity and it was like the nightmare about his brother was coming true. But instead of his brother, he was strangling himself.

He didn't do or say anything that would expose Cheetah. All they did last night was kiss, and kiss, and kiss before the kissing turned into something sweeter, before it became hotter, then finally mixed together into something Rin never thought he'd ever deserve to feel.

'You don't deserve this.'

He felt the corner of his mouth twitch at that. It was more like there was no way this relationship could even work. Not as long as Rin was a ghoul and Amon was a human.

If things get far enough, Amon would, at some point find out that Rin was a ghoul. True that the boy didn't slip anything up at any point during his time with Amon, but Itori was still a loose end, a wild card grinning from behind a wooden bar counter like a spoiled child with a stolen treat stuffed behind the barrier that only she could go through.