Stucky Prompts

2 - Useless Input

"You know what's not gonna help us get outta this?" Bucky gestured wildly to the sleeping dog sprawled on the floor. "That! Steve, you know I can't handle dogs -- "

"Thanks for stating the obvious," Steve whisper-shouted back. "We have to get outta here, Buck -- "

"Oh, really? I thought we'd live in Natasha's apartment until we die," he whisper-yelled. They continued to bicker back in forth in hushed voices, wary to be found and even more wary to wake her massive Russian Bear dog named Biscuit.

Bucky sneezed into his arm and Biscuit grunted in response. Stranded in Natasha's apartment with a dog and having an allergic Bucky next to him wasn't on Steve's to-do list.

The reason they were in Natasha's apartment was a stupid one, and wholly Fury's fault -- it was her birthday coming up, and he had told them to try to find something out about her.

You know, not like asking her like a regular person would do anything, according to him.

"Did you even find anything out?"

"Well, she has a dog," Bucky hushed as he edged against the wall and held his breath. Steve scanned the apartment for an escape route, then to their horror, they heard her unmistakable heels clacking down the hallway towards her apartment.

Bucky estimated they had a minute and a half. He searched around and spotted the bed, then frantically beckoned Steve over. He dove under the bed and Bucky joined him, until they were uncomfortably cramped and pressed together.

"Hey stranger."

"Shut up, Buck -- "

The lock clicked open. Stepping inside, Nat ran a hand through her red curls and tossed her keys into a bowl, then silently slid out of her boots. She moved quietly through her place, not as if she was cautious but as if that was how she moved regardless. She checked on her succulents lining the windowsill and walked towards the kitchen to grab her watering can.

Bucky managed to shimmy into the closet soundlessly before she re-entered. She paused, though, and stood absolutely still. Steve held his breath. Nothing made a sound except for the traffic outside.

Natasha furrowed her brows a little, but walked out once more. Steve pulled himself free and tip-toed around the corner, hiding his large frame behind a potted plant. Bucky screamed internally as he watched him.

As Steve tried to think of an exit route and not of how anxious he was, he occupied himself with what she seemed to like. Dogs. Plants. Nice furniture. Coffee. Pretty knives. Playing darts.

After a beat of silence, Bucky joined him, but they were pressed together in a dark corner. Bucky felt the heat coming off of him in waves, almost making him dizzy.

Nope, he mentally scolded himself. Not going down the rabbit hole of do I like my friend or not.

"Now what?"

"Window," Steve whispered. "I'll be on look-out."

Bucky nodded his agreement and quietly snuck towards the window. Biscuit woke with a snort and stood, shaking his fur. Bucky froze, one leg through the open window, eyes locked on the dog.

"S***," Bucky hissed as he sniffled and his eyes started to itch. "S***, s***--!" He sneezed and the apartment itself seemed to hold its breath as Natasha raced in and took a slow look around her place.

Steve frantically waved Bucky out. He tumbled soundlessly through the window and landed with a dull thud on the fire escape a couple feet below.

Nat poked her head around the corner and saw nothing.

Steve took a deep breath and sprinted towards the open window, over Biscuit. He vaulted through the window and crashed down next to Bucky. "Go, go, go!"

They scrambled down the stairs, tripping over each other as they fled. Natasha shouted at them out her window as she heard the commotion.

"Why were you in my apartment?"

"Sorry!" They sprinted away, adrenaline high. Natasha groaned in frustration and scratched Biscuit's head.

She'd get them back when they'd least expect it.

She had some planning to do.

////

"So? What did you find out?"

Steve frowned disapprovingly at Fury, arms folded. "Nothing. She likes plants."

"Perfect, so a potted cactus it is." He turned back to his paperwork, and Bucky and Steve stared at each other a moment incredulously.

"We risked our lives for this information."

"And I congratulate you on your noble feat," he answered sarcastically. "It's what I pay you for, Rogers."

Bucky pouted as they walked out.

"That was not worth it. She could've totally stabbed us. She always has a knife on her."

"Surprised you didn't get us caught with your allergies," Steve sighed as they left the building and started to head home to their apartment building, where they lived only two doors apart.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he droned, rolling his eyes. "I'll make it up to you."

"Movie night at mine Friday? You make the food?"

He rolled his eyes again but offered an exasperated smile. "Deal, Rogers."

Natasha's birthday was as it always had been -- quiet and unassuming. But, she had named the several cacti she'd gotten after her idiot friends, so they counted that as a win. (Her favourites were Major Prick and Cactus America)

Bucky and Steve had to agree there.