Cuts and Coffee - Isak Valtersen

~ Even ~

»I can't do this no more.
Need this time to meditate.
Just smoke this blunt to help me breathe.
Liquor got me feeling ways.
Whatever puts my heart at ease.
I could write a book with all your lies.
Look just what you've done to me.
Watch me shut down what I feel inside.
Whatever puts my heart at ease.«

Torsdag, 7 am.
Even could feel it.
He could almost feel the mania fading away, waiting for the depression to kick in.
When Even got up this morning he couldn't breathe.
So he decided to do what he always did as soon as a depressive episode arrived - he smoked some weed to calm his mind.

Even's phone buzzed.
It was Isak, who was calling him.
Even decided to pick up, even though he didn't feel like it.
"Halla Even", Isak said, a slight hint of worry was in his voice.
"Halla Isak", Even said, his voice was raspy and dry.
"How are you doing? When I was at yours last night you seemed quite down. Is it a depressive episode?", Isak asked.
Even almost couldn't get himself to say it. "Yes. I don't think I can go to work today, or tomorrow", he said, his voice started to shake.
"I promise you, I'm going to come to your place after school and I'll call you again during the lunch break. If I should buy you something on my way, let me know. I love you and I promise you that everything is going to be okay and that you're not a failure or whatever your mind is telling you right now. Trust me, I love you", Isak said, his voice sounded warm and comforting.
"Takk. I love you too, darling", Even responded.

After the call had ended, Even went back to bed.
He didn't even realize that his eyes closed and that he drifted off to sleep.
The time flew by, Even didn't notice a thing. He didn't feel anything at all.
He felt empty, lost and so exhausted.

Isak looked at his reflection in the screen of his phone.
The tram arrived and Isak got in.
Since tram rides were quite boring, Isak listened to some music.
Everything was normal at school, nothing unusual happened.
On his way to Even after school, Isak picked up a bouquet of roses for Even.

Walking up the stairs to Even's apartment wasn't fun, not even for the fit Isak.
At Even's doorstep, Isak wanted to ring the bell, but he noticed something. The door wasn't closed.
Carefully Isak opened the door and walked in, closing the door behind him.
"Halla Even, it's Isak!", Isak yelled, making sure that Even wouldn't mistake him for some burglar.
No response.
Isak walked through the dining room, in which he found a vase. After filling it up with water, Isak put the flowers in the vase.

Isak walked into Even's room.
"Halla baby", Isak said, placing the vase on Even's nightstand.
Even turned around, he was facing Isak now.
"Halla sweetiepie", Even whispered and Isak could see how bad Even was doing.
Bags were under Even's eyes, his eyes were red and he looked overall exhausted.
Isak put his shoes off before he laid down next to Even, cuddling the older boy.
"How are you? You weren't looking that good when I called you via FaceTime", Isak whispered against Even's neck, causing him to turn around.
The exhausted expression in his face said everything.

"I'm doing not that good, yeah", Even said and he looked even more exhausted now.
"Is there anything I can get you? A coffee or something? Er du sulten?", Isak asked.
Even flashed a weak smile. "Nei, I'm fine. But yeah, I'm a bit hungry", he said.
"Okay, let's go and make some kardemomme toasties then", Isak suggested and Even nodded.
They both got up and went to the kitchen.
Even got some cheese out of the fridge and Isak took the kardemomme out of a cupboard.
While the two made some toasties, Isak looked at Even from time to time.

And Even was actually doing a bit better, but just a bit.
Being with Isak made him a bit happier, just enough to ease the pain inside of him.
After the toasties were ready the two sat down on Even's bed, drinking some orange juice and enjoying their toasties.
"Do you know how happy I am to be your boyfriend?", Isak asked after he had taken a bite of his toasty.
Even nodded, taking a bite of his toasty as well.
"And I am very happy that you're my boyfriend. I personally didn't think that someone would love me ever", Even said, frowning at what he had said.
Even was quite good at making himself sad.
Isak put his index finger under Even's chin, forcing him to look at him.

"Hey baby, don't say stuff like that. You're deserving of love and acceptance and I bet there's no one else out there who's ever going to love you as much as I do", Isak said as he looked into Even's glowing eyes.
The taller Norwegian smiled, a strong smile this time.
"I love you endlessly and deeply, Isak Valtersen", Even said.
Isak smiled before he responded: "And I love you unconditionally, Even Bech Næsheim."
After the two had finished their meal, they laid down in Even's bed again.
Isak had borrowed some clothes from Even so that he could spend the night at Even's place.

The two talked about parallel universes for a while.
Isak was caressing Even's cheek and Even was drawing invisible lines on Isak's back, since Isak loved to lie down on his belly.
"You're the mannen i mitt liv, Even. I don't know what I'd do without you. You've pulled me out of such a deep and dark place and I don't know how I can make it up to you", Isak said, flashing a warm smile at Even.
"You don't need to make it up to me, Isak. You being here beside me during my worst times is enough. You're doing so much for me already, I thank you so much for that and for being here", Even responded, smiling back at Isak.
The two smiled at each other for a few more minutes, before Isak said: "Are you down for watching a film with me?"
"Yes, yes I am!", Even said, a glimpse of happiness shimmered in his voice.
"Oh, by the way! Did I tell you that I'm going to be a student at Nissen as soon as the year ends?", Even asked, waiting for Isak's reaction.
Isak was really happy. "I am so happy baby! Those are some great news!", Isak exclaimed, too happy to hold back his excitement.

What a relaxing day it had been.
Isak learned another really important thing today: He'd be there for Even.
No matter what and how bad things were: He'd be always right by Even's side.
Isak loved Even and he didn't want to hide that from the world anymore.
Alt er love, as Isak liked to say.
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(Wortcount: 1169 words)