If Only He Knew

E I G H T

Angela Monique Patterson P.O.V

"Um, oh. Damn I'll have to let you know if I can take this offer". Tears filled to the brim of my eyes. I shook my head thinking while taking a seat on her sofa. I never left town on her birthday. This was a very tough choice I had to make.

"I'll talk to you soon Janet." I got up from the couch. Tears quickly fell from my face as I left her office. I quickly wiped my tears as i pushed the button on the elevator. I stepped on and waited for it to hit the lobby area. I quickly walked off of the elevator. I took a deep breath walking to my car.

I quickly unlocked it getting in and turning on the air. Once the air turned on I calmed down some feeling the cold air hit my face. I looked in my rear view mirror to see if I looked like I had been crying or anything. I fluffed up my hair a bit before pulling off and making my way to Dashawn's mother's house.

I arrived in about thirty minutes. I grabbed my purse before getting out of my car. I rubbed my hands together and took a few deep breaths before working up the courage to knock on the door. I balled my hand into a fist and raise it to the door. Before I could knock the door flew open.

"Shit girl you scared me". Dashawn's cousin Roy said holding his chest.

"Sorry Roy".

"Girl stop being a weirdo and give me a hug."

I gave him a hug and we rocked back and fourth for a while. Roy was Dashawn's favorite cousin. He's always cracking jokes and has the biggest heart. I love him like a brother and since I was so close to him back in the days I made him Magnolia's god father.

"Aunty, Ang is here." Roy yelled.

I stepped inside of the crowded house and greeted everybody. I went into the kitchen where most of the women were.

"Hey mama Joyce". I hugged her.

"So that's the only person you see?" Dashawn's older sister Tamia scoffed at me rolling her eyes.

"Hello Tamia". I forced a smile.

She was one of the family members who believed Dashawn was murdered because of me. Which is not true at all.

"Hey Ang". Dashawn's little sister Dalilah hugged me.

"Hey". I hugged her back.

"Ignore her". She whispered in my ear.

I shook my head smiling.

"So how have you been holding up?" Mama Joyce asked me.

"I'm holding up pretty well. I still have those days where I get extremely down you know? I started growing to this support group to help people get through the grieving process. I'm finally back at work and I finally went back to my apartment." I fixed myself a plate.

"Well that's good that you're getting back to your regular life". Mama Joyce rubbed my back.

"Well some of us still can't cope with the loss of them all because of some selfish hoe". Tamia scoffed.

"Excuse me". I pushed passed Tamia and walked into the bathroom.

I closed and locked the door behind me. I leaned on the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. Tears welled up in my eyes as i thought about that day.

November 13th, 2017

"Daddy,mommy, wake up". Magnolia came jumping on us.

"Good morning lady bug". Dayshawn smiled opening his eyes picking up Magnolia.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"I'll go start breakfast". I ruffled Magnolia's hair before getting up.