Born to rule ('Born to be a slave' sequel)

32

The next in line was Cristina, as Edmund was completely disinterested to play games with us. He sat in the same chair, where he was before and chose to read a newspaper. The usual sight of him being deep in his world reminded me the old times when he always spent his days in the library reading something important.

I smiled to myself as I looked for a place to hide.

Cristina was stumbling around like a blind hen. She seemed to enjoy herself. Behind the bushes, I watched her doll-like movements.

"She will never find us." A voice beside startled me.

I was looking into green eyes and excitement created a smile on Victoria's face. Like all the girls, she was enjoying the time spent with us, but seeing her so close to me, brought back the jealousy burning inside.

I was not in the mood and willing to pretend to enjoy her company.

"We need to talk, Victoria."

She glanced at me in confusion. I didn't wait for her response and dragged her by her arm away from girls or other curious eyes. They all seemed too busy to even notice our disappearance.

"Ow, ow! Slow down! What's the problem?"

We had arrived in the secluded section of the garden. Small rose bushes, leafy path, and tall hedges kept our existence in secrecy.

Finally, I let go of her. I noticed, that my hold was too tight when Victoria rubbed her sore limb.

"I have enough of your games, Victoria." My voice was hard and unwavering.

"We were just getting started."

"I am not talking about cloud chasing we are doing right now. It's Edmund."

She straightened her posture and put on a serious face expression, her attention completely on me.

"What it is you want to talk about?"

"What it is with you and my husband? You both seem too close to be called just friends. Soon enough people will be talking, if they are not already... There's something between you two you are not telling me about – a romance?"

There was a long pause and I waited for her response, which felt like an eternity. My heart was beating in anticipation to hear the worst. I was tired to guess and worry about my own imagining. This was the end of it – the moment I demanded an explanation, whatever it might be.

"Is that what you think?" Victoria said coldly. There was no speck of emotion on her face. "The truth is... he is my friend."

"Enough! I am tired of this answer already! Do you think I will believe it if you stick by your story? He... He..." I tried to hold my tears in. "The way he looks at you, holds your hand and.... smiles. That's a smile he makes when he is truly happy."

I was ready to slap her noble face just to get out the answer. My fists were balled up tight against my thighs.

I noticed her face soften up.

"I thought better of you, Thea. I wished we could get along, that you are different, just like Edmund described. I longed to finally meet you in person, but you have crushed my hopes and expectations. You are no different than any other woman, who is swooning over Edmund. I will say the truth one last time, but it's up to you if you want to believe it or not. Edmund is my friend, best friend, the only friend of mine. I have no one else who to trust more. You probably have noticed, that he looks down on people, every one who pretends just to get the desired outcome. I feel the same way. And because of it, everyone has turned their backs on me. People dislike me because I have chosen to be myself, say what I think and not follow the traditional customs of the ladies world. Since the childhood Edmund stayed by my side, ignored the gossip and whispers about me, he appreciated my true personality. I do the same. I have cherished every moment in his company because he was my only company, someone real and unjudging. I see that my future with him awaits the same fate as when Maria came in his life. There is nothing else to the truth. If your highness wishes so, I will not cross your path again."

Before Victoria turned away, I saw a faint glimmer of tears welling up in her eyes. The words and anger had caught up in my throat, unable to escape my lips. As if a spell had been taken off, my heart eased and I felt bad for bursting out in anger for reasons I have made up myself.

It made sense now. Victoria described Edmund's preference perfectly. The same reason I liked and trusted him too. He has always been truthful. Maybe not telling his feelings sometimes, but never he pretended to be someone else or appreciated, that others put up the mask.

My hand reached for Victoria, but she walked away so fast, I was left with an empty hand.

Instead of clarity and satisfaction, I aimed to achieve, my heart filled with regret and sadness. Deep down I knew what Victoria was talking about. Being alone, judged and pushed away by everyone, was a very familiar feeling. Also the shelter we have taken under Edmund's unseemingly caring nature and acceptance. When no one else is there, but your only friend.

What have I done?

Why did I listen to Blanchard and whispers of jealous people, who wished nothing else, but suffering?

I have ruined Victoria's day, my own and maybe even relationship with Edmund. I feared to step out of the closed-off secrecy trees provided. I wished to bury myself. The guilt and regret didn't want to leave my heart.

"Please forgive me... Victoria, Edmund..." I whispered to myself and the wind.

"Thea! Victoria!" Scarlet was calling out after some time.

I peeked through the branches and saw her coming my way. She had left her sister and cousin back at the teahouse. Edmund was still there, lazily basking in his chair and listening whatever Cristina was telling him. He seemed unfazed, which could not be said about the young lady. Margaret laid on the white blanket and enjoyed their company.

"Where is Victoria? We were looking for both of you. The game is over..." She seemed breathless marching down the hill.

"I... I got lost. Sorry, Scarlet."

I couldn't make myself to crack a smile, even a fake one.

"And Victoria? Have you seen her?"

"I think... I lost her."

I didn't see her anywhere. Not with girls nor Edmund. I was worried. Where did she go? I doubt that I have made her leave. She has always appeared strong and seemed nothing can disturb and change her mood. Though, maybe I am wrong. In reality, I have never known her. I never tried to get to understand her personality and what she really is about. I just listened to what impression she had left on other people – something I should learn to ignore because nothing is what it seems.