Rvb S11 E7 "Can I Keep It?"

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Canyon/Blue Base
Tucker, Wade, Zeta and Wash are inside blue base, standing in front of Caboose and his giant robot killing machine pet... Freckles.

Wade: ...This is awkw-

Freckles turns towards Wade.

Wade: Nevermind!

Wash: Caboose...

Freckles turns towards Wash.

Wash: Tell me again, where did you find this... robot?

Caboose: His name is Freckles.

Tucker: That's a stupid name.

Freckles turns his guns at Tucker.

Tucker: Stupid-cool I mean! Great name, I mean, I wish that were my name. Yeah, Freckles is the best name ever that there ever was.

Zeta: Technically it's a Mantis class military assault droid. I've read about these through some data logs, but it's definitely... frightening to see on up close.

Tucker: Wait, why Mantis?

Zeta: Well, see those legs right there?

Zeta points at Freckles legs.

Zeta: They kinda look similar to the legs of a praying mantis.

Wade: Really? I don't see the resemblance.

Zeta: Uh maybe it's the head shape then?

Caboose: Yeah, maybe its because during the act of procreation they rip off the head of their mates body and devour it. It's like an act of sexual cannibalism.

Wade: Eww...What that's disgusting!?

Tucker: Eh, I've dated worse.

Wade: Worst? What could of possibly been worser!?

Tucker: Dude, you don't even want to know the half of it. Scratch that, a quarter of it I should say.

Caboose: Yeah, I call him Freckles because of the spots on his nose.

They all stare at the 'spots' on Freckles.

Tucker: Well shit, I actually have to give it to Caboose on this one. Robot definitely looks more like a 'Freckles' than a 'Mantis'.

Wash: Fine. Where did you find... Freckles?

Caboose: Well I was walking and I was sad and I missed Church-

Tucker: This is the greatest story of our generation.

Wash: Quiet.

Caboose: And then I heard a noise-

Tucker: Seriously, It's like I was there.

Zeta: Tucker, cut it out.

Caboose: Yeah and then I saw the little guy under like pieces of rock and space ship and body parts, but I just moved them out of the way and then there he was and now we're best friends forever! Right Freckles?

Freckles: {Affirmative, Caboose.}

Tucker: Great. Boy meets dog. Dog turns out to be a military-grade killing machine from a crashed spaceship.

Wade: Now I wished I had one.

Wash: Absolutely not.

Wade: But-

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