Please // Matty Healy

the fifth

A/N: We are almost at 50 reads on this book and that's amazing. It's so cool to know that though there are other Matty fics with hundreds of thousands of reads, people are still giving this little book a chance. Thanks for reading this! It really means a lot to me! Enjoy the chapter loves! 

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"Here," Matty's voice finally spoke.

We were stood outside a book shop, a small cafe tucked in the corner. I eyed the seating area. Big emerald and maroon bolstered chairs accompanied aged oak coffee tables. Most of the morning rush had come and gone by now, leaving Matty and me plenty of places to sit, unbothered by the prying eyes of the outside world or the screams of devoted fans.

We had come across 3 more groups of teens along our walk, Matty graciously dividing his time between all of them. It was rather sweet actually, the respect he had for the women who disrespected him so much, grabbing his face and kissing his cheek or pulling his hair.  I felt pathetic as I stood aside, slowly normalizing the idea that Matty's attention was truly for everyone except me.

But here in the coffee shop, it was just us. 

"Best breakfast tea you will ever have," Matty claimed, returning with two mugs. Matty never asked what I wanted, he just always knew what was best. I trusted him completely. He was always right. 

"Look at me, pet," Matty spoke. I shuttered at the new nickname. "You alright?"

I nodded my head, warming my hands around the ceramic mug. 

"Just a bit overwhelmed by all the screaming is all," I assured him. 

"It's quite a lot, yeah?" Matty chuckled, running his hand through his thick curls. Oh, how I wished his hand were mine, feeling the way his dark locks wrapped around his fingertips. 

"Do you ever have time for yourself? A moment just to be alone?" I asked.

"I'm quite afraid of moments like that," Matty responded.

"Really?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Petrified," he spoke, smiling to lighten the tone of his heavy words.

"So what do you do, then, to fill the time?"

"Drugs, sex, music, anything to let me give up a part of myself for a moment. It's all just noise anyway, to fill the silence of loneliness." 

"Does it work?" I asked, intrigued. 

"Not enough noise and too much racket," he spoke, shaking his head. 

He was impossibly poetic.

Although I struggled with the idea of how someone like Matty could feel so alone yet not be able to walk more than 3 blocks without receiving any attention.

There was a silence between us for a moment, drinking our tea.

"Why are you here, pet?" Matty finally asked. I looked up at him sheepishly, the question catching me off guard.

"I needed to get out of Manchester," I spoke.

"What I mean, rather, is why drug dealing? Why were you at my doorstep that night, or again a few nights later at 2 in the morning, or now that you've come all the way out to London with my drug dealer? Why?"

It was the question that I had been asking myself over and over again.

"I'm scared of office jobs, Matty. That routine, the utterly mundane way of living I just can't seem to wrap my head around. My parents lived like that, and I promised myself I never would. So I do odd jobs instead, things that keep me on my feet"

Bullshit. Though there was truth in my answer, in my fear of office jobs, that's not why I was here. That's not the answer. The answer is Matty. Ever since we met, my whole life had become about him. I had no purpose before him. Now my purpose was him. And I hated that I loved it. 

He smiled at me.

"That right there is the most you've ever said about yourself, love," Matty chuckled, "I'm intrigued, tell me more," he spoke,  leaning back in his chair.

"Oh?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Tell me your story, miss Jessica" he teased.

Always kept me on edge. A warm lump formed in my throat. I didn't know what to say. With how crazy his life was, my "story" would just be a sigh. But I always did what he told me to do.

"Well," I started, "when I was 18 I decided to drop out of school and move out of my mum's, buying a flat in the city. I suppose I was just seeking some freedom I guess, without restrictions. Ever since then I've lived favor to favor, spending what I can on rent and the rest on getting out of Manchester." I blushed. I'd never talked so much about myself before. Nobody had ever wanted me to. Was I talking too much?

"Would you say you're afraid of commitment?" Matty asked, sitting forward and looking at me intensely. He was actually listening to my rambles. He actually cared.

"Not necessarily commitment to people, rather commitments within myself and within routine."

"I like that, pet," Matty spoke, sipping from his mug, "but what does your mum think about it all?"

"We haven't talked much." I started. I had never opened up about my personal life to anyone, much less someone I barely knew. Yet something about him was entrancing like I could tell him everything he wanted to know without hesitation. "She took my moving out a bit personally."

"Where's the fun in doing what you're told?" he chuckled.

I shook my head, still surprised I had opened up to him. Surprised he hadn't gotten bored and left.

"Come to our gig tonight," Matty said, much less asking than telling. 

"I thought you just had one last night?" I inquired.

"Nah love, that was just for the radio. Tonight we have a proper show."

I smiled widely. Of course, I wanted to go, although I hadn't necessarily had a proper listen to their record yet. 

"It's ok if you don't know it," Matty said, as if reading my mind, "the best way to listen to it is live anyways," we both chuckled. 

"I'll be there," I said softly, focusing my glance on my mug.

His finger slipped under my chin, tilting my face up to look at him. His eyes were warm and inviting, something new from the usual intense, mischevious ones that drove me mad.

"Good." 

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A/N: Sorry this was such a short chapter, but I promise the next one is going to be HEATED so just you wait. At least we got to know a bit more about Jess here! Anyways, I'm super pumped about the next chapter, it's the first time I truly have had a set idea of what I want to do and I'm thrilled to write it! Thanks for the votes, it's nice to know people actually enjoy this!