Please // Matty Healy

the sixteenth

A/N: Short and sweet chapter before the next wave of drama. Let's see if Matty can make up for what he did at the party...

________

3 knocks sounded at the door. My breath hitched, I wasn't ready to see him. I had left the party an hour ago and wasn't any closer to sleep than I had wished. I wanted to escape from it all. I couldn't stand to look at him. I didn't want any more of his drunk rambles or slurred apologies, I wanted to rest.

"Don't worry, it's just me" Kai's voice spoke. I exhaled, climbing out of bed to greet her, my face tear-stained.

"Matty is staying with George tonight, I told him he's not allowed to come here until he can sort himself out" Kai spoke.

"Thank you," I breathed.

"Come here," she smiled weakly, wrapping her arms around me. I could feel myself begin to break, letting out soft sobs into her chest as my shoulders shook.

"He'll come around, I promise," she assured me, stroking my back, "we're all so proud of you Jess, this is a good thing," she spoke.

"I don't want to think about any of that right now," I sighed.

Kai nodded her head, leading me back to the bed.

"Stay," I asked, "please,"

"Of course. I'm not leaving you," she said, lying down next to me, holding me gently as I cried myself back to sleep.

Kai was there for me. She was there for me all night long. She was there for me in the morning when she forced me to take a hot shower. She was there for me when I didn't want to see the boys yet, ordering room service breakfast for both of us. She was there for me when I wanted to get excited about the future ahead, actually making me smile about it for the first time since I had received the news. We laughed about baguettes and snooty french artists and Picasso's ghost. We promised to keep in touch all the time, and Kai swore she'd give me all of the unwanted details of her one night stands and cute American boys while I was gone.

It was nearly 10 am by the time I heard a knock at the door again. It was so faint, as though the person on the other side was reluctant to even make a sound.

Kai and I shared a knowing look.

"I can send him away if you want," she spoke, grabbing my hand assuringly.

I shook my head.

"No, I need to talk to him. I want to make things right," I said.

She nodded, retreating to the door to reveal Matty, still in his clothes from the day before. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were dark, as though he'd never slept.

"You better be sober," Kai warned him before leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

A thick silence hung in the hair between us as we stood across the room feeling miles apart. I didn't dare say a word. Not until he did.

"I'm sorry," he spoke.

His eyes looked hurt, and I could tell he was tearing himself apart with guilt. 

"I know you are," I breathed.

He nodded slowly, looking at the floor. 

"I'm proud of you," he began.

"Don't lie to me," I cut him off, already on the verge of tears. I needed to stay strong.

"I'm not lying" he shot back.

"You hurt me, Matty" I spoke.

"I know, fuck, I know," he said, looking up at me now, "I'm just scared, Jess" his voice shook.

"Me too," I admitted.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," he confessed, "the whole thing is driving me mad."

"Let's not think about that, then," I spoke, stepping towards him, "we have 11 more days together before I leave. Can we please just enjoy that? Can we just pretend like nothing else matters for 11 days?"

"Ok," Matty responded.

"I love you," I spoke.

"Come here," he beckoned. And I did, unwinding myself in beneath touch. I wasn't sure how I was going to survive without it for 6 weeks, but I couldn't think about that yet.

"I love you, so much, and I'm so proud of you. And I've been cruel and selfish and narcissistic..." he rambled.

"You were drunk, Matty" I said.

"I shouldn't have been," he admitted, "I should have been there with you, celebrating with you when that's all you wanted,"

"So let's celebrate for 11 days, huh?" I giggled, looking up into his eyes.

"Anything you want, love. Let me just hold you for a few more minutes though,"

________

Time flys when you're having fun. The 11 days melted into each other, 3 spent in Melbourne, the rest in Manchester, packing and preparing. Thankfully, the boys had some time off at home before their tour, so every minute of my time was spent with them by my side, just the way I would have wanted it.

At night, once Matty and I would finally go to sleep, he would hold me as though I were going to run away if he didn't. I slept better that way. 

Elias had decided it would be best for him to take me to the airport, fearing the boys might draw an unwanted crowd during emotional times.

Matty's fingers had been intertwined with mine throughout breakfast. He barely ate, he just admired me, encapsulating my image in his mind.

Goodbyes are hard. Especially hard when you were saying goodbye to everyone, knowing there was no one to turn to where you were going.

Ross and Adam were first. I hugged them both and they thanked me for taking care of their lead singer.

Kai was next, promising me she'd tell all of her exciting America stories, especially in regards to the guys she would meet. I told her I'd let her know if I ran into Picasso's ghost, and I'd eat plenty of french food on her behalf.

George followed her, smothering me in one of his classic bear hugs, telling me he'll miss having me around. He teased me a bit about not forgetting them when my art is up in the Louvre. He hugged me again, this time whispering in my ear that he'd watch Matty for me and keep him behaved.

Matty was last. We promised to call every day, regardless of time zones. I wished him good luck on his tour, and he promised to sing every song just for me, as though I could hear him from across the world. He reminded me how proud he was of me, and he made me promise not to worry about him, a promise I would have trouble keeping.

Elias held my hand tightly as I wiped away my tears in the car, my heart sinking as I waved goodbye to them all. He walked me all the way up to security, telling me to call him if I needed anything, before reminding how happy he was I was perusing my passion.

And with that, after being consistently surrounded by people for months, I was alone.

________

A/N: I know this one is kind of short, but that's because there is a lot coming up in the next one and I didn't want to split it all up between chapters. It'll be out very soon though! Thanks for all of the love and support this far, it makes my day. I wonder what will happen in Paris?