seeing red | rewriting!

Seeing Red: The Truth Is Told

| chapter 13 |

I finally found enough confidence to go back and sort everything out. Or I'm going back to avoid Clancy.

The sky was turning dark by the time I returned. My clothes felt itchy and gross on my body, but i refused to go to the cabin.

The cabin... I didnt even want to consider remembering it being home. My home... our home for the past three years. I wish there was a way I could avoid Clancy altogether, but I knew I'd go back, taking the risk of him being there.

Does he even know that I'm not there? Doesnt he feel my absence? My ghost? Is the cabin cold and dark and lonely without me?

A part of me wanted to just burn the entire damn cabin down, watching Clancy Gray burn down with it, hearing his useless cries. Another part of me wanted to go inside, forget that everything happened, and live the dream that was slowly turning into a nightmare.

I couldnt avoid it. It being him. The truth was I didnt really understand whether I wanted to see him or not. I was so used to him. I was used to his voice saying my name. I was used to his cologne resting in the air and on his t-shirts whenever i got the chance to wear one. I was used to his charming, gentle eyes and that sweet, longingful look he'd give me whenever he wanted a kiss. That damn look always made me weak in the knees, and I'd fall for him more and more.

But there would be no more falling. There would never be more of it... i knew I had to begin believing every lie about Clancy just to get away from him. At the same time, I would go to him in times like this. Now I'm alone... beginning to fight this newly found battle by myself.

"Amara!" I turn around and saw Liam first, followed by Zu and Ruby and Chubs.

"Hey." I began walking their direction, refusing to admit Ruby's eyes were staring into my soul. I couldn't even look at her without seeing Clancy on top of her.

Ugh.

Even his own name sent shivers down my spine and made me feel sick to my stomach. I began fumbling with the ring again... and then my heart began to ache. This wasn't fair... none of it was.

"We're getting out of here, Amara. Clancy hit on Ruby and Chubs has a bad feeling he's up to something." Liam informs me. Now one thing made sense... Chubs' bad feeling. "We need to get away from here." Liam states over my thoughts.

Was he asking me to run away with them?

"I cant leave E.D.O... PSFs will immediately find me and turn us into a camp and we'll be tested and they'll hurt Clancy, kill me, and-"

"Amara, that wont happen!" Chubs says.

"Oh yeah? And how do you know?"

Everyone is hesitant to respond, but it's like they are actually thinking of an answer to give. Finally, Ruby speaks up. "Because we've all been there. Living in fear. Hell, we are doing it now just by staying here." She pauses, waiting for me to say something.

I hated to admit it, but she was right. Fear was a constant emotion stuck in the air. Fear was the thing everyone who is a psi is living with. That's what keeps us alive. The idea of not living with fear anymore keeps us fighting everyday.

"Clancy's gonna notice us if we don't hurry up. C'mon." Chubs says, taking Zu's hand and heading toward the exit of E.D.O. In all my years living and hiding here, never have I ever left. Clancy would tell me that if I did, I would be tracked and killed on the spot.

If only...

I looked at Liam, and in his natural-colored eyes I saw myself. I knew this day was coming... the day I'd look at someone else the way Clancy would look at me. I didn't think it was even the slightest bit possible to feel this way about anyone else... but I guess I was wrong.

"Um..." Liam started. I can tell he's trying to find something to say, but cant. "You have the most amazing eyes."

He's talking about Red.

"Oh uh-" I started thinking about the fires I've started, but Liam stops me.

"No, I meant... your natural color. Gray..."

Huh?

"Your eyes are blue-ish gray." Liam has this dork-ish smile on his face.

I begin to say something, "Liam, there's something I need to tell you."

Instead of fear or anxiety in his face, there's confidence. It's like he knew what I was going to say. Then, there's a yell... and it's Ruby's.