seeing red | rewriting!

Seeing Red: Kiss And Won't Tell

| chapter 10 |

"Clance?" I begin. "You alright?"

Clancy doesn't say anything at first except look at me. I couldn't tell if it was in disbelief or just in shock. I would be feeling either or if I were him... but I'm not him and I don't feel either of those things.

I just feel confusion... and the idea of just hugging him and making him feel better is what was beginning to weigh me down. "Do I look alright, Amara?" He snaps, only to then look away from me. Just by the way he said my name, I figured this had to have been the first time in days he has said it out loud. 

He sighs, scoffing after. He plants his head in his hands again, which brings me to sit beside him. All I could do was place my hand on his lower back, knowing it would comfort him. Slowly, he turns his body to face mine and lays his head in my lap. His eyes flutter shut, but I know he isn't going to sleep... at least not yet. 

"Amara?" 

"Yes?" I respond, letting him know I'm still here.

Clancy sits up and says first, "Why'd you walk away like that..." he doesn't let me answer when he takes my hand in his quickly. "You scared me..."

Hearing Clancy say those words surprised me more than anything. Him? Afraid? What? Clancy Gray was never afraid of anything... but I guess losing me was one.

I didn't want to apologize... but I knew it was the right thing and if I didn't it would make me look bad. Clancy put his arms around me, his face laid where my heart is. His eyes closed again, and when I put my arms around him, I swear I thought he was shaking. 

I caused it... me. I was the one who made him feel like this. I must have been the only one who could fix it then...

I took a deep breath and started doing something I didn't know we would regret later. "Clance? Baby?"

I don't think I've ever called him something other than Clance or Clancy, so the nickname must have startled him. When he's looking at me, he just says, "Uh huh?"

I refuse to say any more, but instead I slowly lean in and kiss him gently. Instantly, my hands are in his hair, I'm sitting in his lap, and his hands are planted on my waist. I feel Clancy fall onto his back, his hands now sliding up my back. I could feel my shirt going with it, and the straps were sliding off. It kept bothering me, so off it went. 

Clancy's hands then moved to my thighs, his grip growing as our lips kept moving in sync. I couldn't tell what I was doing with Clancy now... I was just living in the moment.

And in this moment, Clancy's sweats were gone. 

If someone walked in on us, we wouldn't have cared. If someone needed either of us, we still wouldn't have cared and kept doing what we were doing. 

In this moment, right here right now... it was just us. Only us... Clancy Gray and Amara Westwood... just like how things would always be. 

My thoughts were pushed aside when Clancy rolled on top, his mouth moving from mine to my neck. I bit my lip just to hold back any sounds. I didn't trust myself to do something that crazy... yet.

When his lips moved away from my neck, he slowly began moving down onto my chest... to my stomach... and then stopped above the waistline of my pants. He looks up at me, and now I understood how far we were willing. Was I willing to give myself up to him? Now? 

It seemed too fast due to the fact that just a couple days ago I was in Liam's cabin, trying to figure out how I truly felt about him. I felt like I was cheating on him with Clancy... but it felt so right too. 

I didn't realize that I gave him a quick nod before he continued what he was planning... everything went fuzzy from then on.