Stranger Calum

Prolouge

The energy of the crowd is whats keeping me sane. Everyone talking, waiting, singing, chanting. It's nothing I'm used to. I'm used to front row at the small little teen hangout with maybe a hundred people on a good day. I'm used to pre-show banter and drinks. I'm used to good luck kisses and being the only girl in the room his eyes are set on.

Once the lights go off in the exciting way they do, the crowd erupts in cheers and shouts. I immediately feel the adrenaline cancel out the nerves. This isn't something to be nervous about. This is something I'm more than used to.

This is home.

I can't help it really, I have no control over the cheers that come from my own mouth. I'm excited. I'm buzzing. I'm feeling a little drunk off it all. This is my favorite part about concerts; the moment everyone starts to lose their shit and all unintentionally move forward in an attempt to get closer to the people they love.

I haven't seen any of them in what feels like ages and I honestly couldn't deny the heavy feeling lifted off my chest and shoulders at the familiar sight of my favorite four boys.

They don't look too different, maybe a little more manly - rugged. I'm not front row, purposely buying a couple rows back in fear of them seeing me. I doubt they even remember me, doubt they'd even think twice if they saw my face. And I think that would just absolutely crush me to have confirmed.

I promised myself that day I left the airport that with goodbye meant full and total goodbye. It meant no contact whatsoever, including concerts which probably was the hardest.

But when I got word they'd be playing just a few blocks from where I was staying on holiday I somehow convinced myself it'd be one time. One time and they would never have to know. And if I ditched my friends to come alone then that absolutely did not mean that I was still hung up on a certain bass player I was 100% completely over.

I deliberately go over each boy separately saving the dark haired one for last. Michael doesn't look much different aside from the new hair color, Ashton's just gotten a bit more buff/fit, and Luke's as tall and lanky as ever having a very very light scruff. Finally, I reluctantly set sight on the boy who had not only stolen my heart but apparently taken it with him if all of my failed relationships were any indication.

My breath catches in my throat and all my senses go into overdrive along side my rapidly pounding heart. I'd gone over this moment a million times. The 486 days leading here, every holiday break I thought he might be home, I'd even gone over it last night and every night before going to bed but nothing, and I mean nothing, could have ever prepared me for the absolute sudden rush of emotions hitting me like a ton of bricks.

My eyes well with tears. I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm excited, I'm nervous but most of all, I can physically feel myself slowly piecing itself back together as the show goes on.

However, that doesn't last very long. About halfway through their set his name is being called off to the side and I follow his gaze to a girl stood just off the stage who he sends a beaming smile to. My stomach falls out of my ass it feels because I know her. And not just seen her on a magazine or all over the internet draping herself all over him, but I actually know her.

She was the constant you have nothing to worry about she was the before and apparently she was also the after.

It hurts more than I could have ever expected. It's been a little over a year now, you'd think it would have somewhat died down. But it hasn't and I'm not sure it ever will. And yes I've read the articles and seen the tweets but I constantly had Calum's voice reassuring me it was nothing. Clearly I was just being naive.

It's around then that I question what the hell I'm even doing there. This isn't my place anymore. These aren't my boys anymore. He's not my boy anymore. I turn to walk away, feeling that same need for air as the day we first confessed our love for each other, the memory only making it harder to breathe.

I think maybe he'd caught my eye just before I turned but then again there are thousands of girls all around there's no telling where or who he was looking at and if he had then he makes no indication of it.

I vow that night to never put myself through that again and swear this time I will stay away. I have to. No matter how hard it may be.

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Figured I'd post this little bit to get you guys excited for the first actual chapter. :-) I'm going to attempt to have a schedule with this story which will be every other day meaning yes, the first chapter will be posted on Tuesday! (: I am so excited to start this story and have my little problematic ship back.