Stranger Calum

Chapter 1

"Will you turn that down?" I groan at my flatmate - Kylie, from my room.

"Oh c'mon it's not even that loud," she counters.

"I can hardly hear myself think."

"Maybe that's a good thing. You think too much," she says matter-of-fact.

"Do not," I retort, eyes scanning my bedroom for anything else I might have missed.

"Clearly do since we were meant to leave 20 minutes ago," she grumbles from her spot on the couch.

"I'm not over-thinking, I just want to be sure I don't forget anything."

"You're so anal," she cackles.

"Laugh all you want, we'll see who's laughing in a week from now when you realize you've forgotten something," I zip my bag up and stand at my doorway, scanning once more before shutting the light off and heading to the living room where Kylie's gone uncharacteristically quiet.

"Read...y," I pause, eyes catching the four boys now on the tv. "Ky.." I sigh, grabbing the remote from her and switching it off.

"He's got a girlfriend now you know, they all do apparently," she mumbles miserably.

Although I made a pact with myself not to speak to them again, Kylie and Michael continued their relationship, only, it wasn't exactly a relationship. More of a call when I'm lonely, hook up when I'm in town - basically everything I feared Calum and I would turn out to be.

"It's stupid, I'm the one that kept it going," she glances up at me with a shake of the head. "I should've just ended it at the airport like you."

I bite my lip and let my next words come as light as possible not wanting sound snippy about it, "Maybe. But it doesn't make it hurt any less though."

We still haven't really spoken about everything, I found it was easier to pretend that time of my life didn't exist. Like Kylie wasn't still seeing one of the few people who still got to see Calum everyday.

And for all anyone knew, I was doing fine.

"I'm sorry Kot, you just..you seem so put together all the time I forget," her voice coming out small and apologetic.

"Yeah, well, falling apart isn't exactly going to change anything is it?" I shrug because it's true but that doesn't mean it stings any lighter. "Should we go now? We're already half an hour late. Think my mom's going to kill us," I chuckle wanting to be done with this conversation already.

She nods hesitantly, getting the message to drop it and we're off.

-

It's not like I haven't been home since Calum left, it's not like I didn't have to live half a year across from his empty bedroom and constantly tell myself he was still there in order to get some sleep. He may not have been home much since leaving but I have. In fact, I've been home more times than I could count but it never seems to get any easier.

I tend to avoid my bedroom when staying at my mom's. It's easier that way. Not much easier, but still easier. My mom doesn't even ask, always having the guest bedroom set up with blankets and pillows neatly piled onto the edge of the bed.

It's sort of an unspoken agreement not to mention him after I had snapped at her about a month after seeing them live. No one knew I went and I was planning on keeping it that way. But before that, before a moment of weakness giving into the heartache and ending up with an even bigger heartache, my mom and I used to chat about him and what they'd gotten themselves into all the time.

With Calum's family still living next door our mothers still spoke regularly so of course Cal's mom loved to spill all the exciting news he'd speak to her about which is usually what me and my mom would talk about but now I can't even bring myself to say his name let alone carry on a conversation about him.

Everyone else seems to have missed the memo however. Everywhere I turn there's a neighbor there to ask about school then somehow they always end up slipping in a casual and how's Calum? Or have you heard from Calum lately? And if I had known it would be like this I honestly would have just stayed home instead of tagging along to this weeks stupid block barbecue that I never even liked going to anyway.

"Oh Dakota, you just missed Calum," one lady says and I don't really hear her, just nod politely and give a small smile as I try to walk past her and over to my mom.

It's not until after I've informed her that I'm heading back home - Kylie already having gone back to hers - and I'm down the street that I finally turn over the excited neighbors words. What did she mean I just missed Calum? Maybe he called in? Maybe he had just been on the radio? Those were the only logical explanations for her words because otherwise she just didn't make any sense.

As I walk the familiar path I've taken so many times before, usually just after leaving Ashton's, I begin to get this gut curling feeling.

It doesn't happen often. At least not as often as it used to. But sometimes, sometimes the reality of it all is just too much. It's usually something really small like walking home that sets it off and within seconds any and all progress I've managed to make goes out the window and my visions blurring with tears.

I miss him. Miss him more than ever when I'm home and every little thing reminds me of something we'd done together. I miss him and want to shout about it. Want to tell everyone. But most importantly I want to shout at him. Want to shout at him for ever letting me pull away. Want to shout at him that it's his fault my heart constantly hurts, tell him it's his fault I can't sleep at night and shout at him for even accepting my invitation for him to sleep over on that very first night.

And because I'm emotional and completely immature, I hastily wipe at my tears, pick up a little rock from the ground and chuck it in the direction of his house as I walk up my front pathway.

It's not fair.

It's been two and a half years since he's left.

He's moved on.

Why can't I?

I stomp all the way to the guest bedroom, stripping from my clothes and into something much more comfortable. All the while mumbling under my breath about how pathetic I was being and how I was so passed crying over my stupid neighbor but it takes a while to finally manage to pull myself together.

And because I can, because I was so over him, I finally walk into my bedroom after months of avoiding it. My mom hasn't touched it, maybe just picked up a bit but everything was still very much in its place. My heart just about stops at the shirt I literally bent over backwards trying to find before I moved out.

It was always my favorite and no matter how many times Calum took it back, swapping it for a freshly Calum-scented shirt, I always seemed to find a way to get it back. Calum never complained though, always willingly letting me take it and I think he might have left it on purpose as his unsaid goodbye the night before he left.

I hold onto it like my life depends on it. I nearly had a meltdown when I couldn't find it the day I packed and my mom had promised to look for it but I had already wasted every free day moping about him leaving so it wasn't like I could have just stayed to spend hours searching for it like I wanted to as I really had to go get settled in college.

A feeling of absolute warmth washes over me and as I close my eyes I pretend its still got that Calum scent. The one I could never forget and it's almost enough to make me forget. Taking me to a better place; my happy place really. Here in the comfort of my bedroom with Calum at my side.

When I open my eyes I'm sure they're playing tricks on me. Maybe I'd fallen asleep? Maybe I wanted it so bad my mind was convinced.

Blinking a few times, I realize, this isn't some sick trick my mind is playing.

This is real.

He's there.

Dark hair, brown eyes, beat up band shirt and all, stood at his window just like a regular day. Like nothing had changed, like we were still Calum and Kota spending ages at our windows together.

Like we never had to say goodbye.

--

I am so emotional right now. Comment, vote, share it, add it to your library, all that good stuff.